i just read some.. interesting news . the wife of a criminal shot a guard so that he could escape as he was being led back to prison after leaving a court appearance. yea she killed him. sigh. the things that go on around us.. well.. around us a million miles away.. u know when u hear things like that.. murder.. rape.. blah.. the usual response is "what! that's terrible!.... (10 second period of frowning).... so what's showing on tv now?".. or something along those lines.. i think it's because u cant even imagine such a thing really happening coz it's just not.. well.. how should i say this.. not an environment that u've been brought up in.. and your nature which u would think is normal cannot be compared with that crazy violent completely haywired nature of these people. coz we all originated from different circumstances.. different environments.. maybe they came from extreme violence.. abuse.. emotionally.. physically.. or they have just completely warped mindsets of the world because of everything which happened thereafter.. u know as im typing this now i realise there's really no way i can express what i really intend to. ok so maybe i should just stop. im not giving excuses for these people obviously.. coz what u want to do in the end.. is your choice. and i guess we are sinful by nature but to actually even hold a knife up to someone with the intention to hurt.. you've just crossed over to the other side. sigh. but these things are things that we.. i think as singaporeans will always feel detached from in a way.. it doesnt matter how screwed up one is.. coz everything here is so safe and secure and the moment 1 murder happens.. the whole island explodes in shock. just ask yourself how many million freaking times have you heard the name huang na by now. huang na! huang na! huang na! make that a million and 3.

crap. i need some peace.

anyway.. whoa. in response to zhen. i didnt know that people actually like.. would respond to my entry! haha siao la! i have no power man. i am merely a humble servant of the human race. nah actually i am aspiring to be oprah so im using this blog as a launch. except that my language sucks. and i cant really express myself that well. and this is reaching an audience of no more than 10 i would think. and i dont have enough money to give away cars. anyway zhen i totally get where u're coming from.. you know i think like what u said when u read people writing into newspapers asking bout love or sex advice u think like whattttttttttt.. crazy. i feel like the sad truth is that.. a lot of couples out there.. even married people are not together because of 'true love'. if indeed such a thing existed. i think a lot of the time people come together for a lot of other reasons.. some realise eventually that this it is just not.. real.. and break. some get married for convenience's sake. and all this results in all these letters being written in.. asking for advice.. i would think that a very small percentage of people out there.. who really are each other's soul mates. who just feel such a connection to each other that so many stupid things like he seems to be ignoring me lately is it coz he likes someone else? or we're not having sex regularly. why why why. these things dont even matter coz these 'problems' just dont exist. i dont know how to explain this cos obviously i've never experienced it, but, i think love is just all you need and there're just no questions which need to be asked. it's just something special shared within two people.. sigh. i dun know. and right now dun really give a crap either. as to the topic of sex zhen.. maybe.. we're still young la. and also coz of the environment we've grown up with and the people we've mixed with.. and of course or religons. i would think that a big majority of singaporeans have much different feelings on this.. so maybe when we get older and find the right person.. right now.. yea it's just kinda weird to think of it. we sound so little girl huh. but i dont give a shit. it's just our opinions man.
and amos if u read this. im not saying dean is the only one at fault. of course rory is too. she should have known better than to get with it with a guy who is still married. but my point is, he was the one who went to look her up and eventually shut the door in her face when he was pissed that his marriage was gone. ironic that his dead marriage was the reason he looked her up in the first place. rory made a mistake but dean just totally manipulated her and his wife. and that is the problem that i have. you cant have things as and when u like it. you cant have your cake and eat it. but dean was eating two enormous piles of cake here.

after writing so many opinions recently. i realise i have gotten very sick of myself. and i think people will probably too. im so sad i wanna watch my dead poets again. except 1 cd has walked away from me. sigh. i cant remember what was the exact quote.. but it was something along the lines of no matter what anyone says.. opinions can change the world? im probably wrong.. but sometimes i dont see how that can happen.. when even u get sick of your words.

just found out from sarah that 59612895 people died in world war 1. can u even imagine that. we should be so grateful.

i received a letter through mail just now. it was from a friend and classmate who i see in school everyday and chat with online almost everyday. and yet she still sent me a letter. i dont wanna talk much about it coz it would just.. degrade what really means a lot to me. i've just really been blessed with such great friends.
thanks :) (L)(L)(L)