sigh. first thing i come online and a sec1 boy is asking me out. ARGHHHHH. give me a break please. and grow up soon? im a nice person contrary to popular belief, but i can be not very nice too obviously. i am no paedophile and have no time for very extremely weird.. friendships.. and now im supposed to give him my hp no. God help me please. why why why.. always the wrong wrong WRONG people.

today's concert was rather interesting.. apart from cringing moments of what-the-hell-is-the-emcee-thinking.. i have come to the realisation yet again that my classmates are a bunch of damn amazingly talented people. the ics items were like whoa man. haha. that's the great thing about coming to vj.. everything is so diverse.. was looking around at people in the hall and everybody is just so damn different.. sarah doesnt really think so but. well. i guess the important thing is despite all the differences.. there's not really any snobbishness or any of that shit going around. people still can mix well. so it's all good.
went with joanne, nette and shiqi to watch shiqi rebond her hair. haha brought back some memories of extreme horror which i hope will never resurface ever again. we ate at hollywood. woohoo! it rocks man. no johnny depp sightings though. nvm. the nice auntie who gave me ice milo will do. shiqi's cat is freaking fat man. it looks average/skinny online. but.. dont be deceived.. it's damn cute.. looks like a small tiger. i think cats are quite scary creatures.. their eyes can drive u crazy. hopefully i'll own a husky next time.. huskies are amazingly beautiful. or a pet pig like george clooney's. piglets are extremely cute. they should never grow up.

anyway was thinking today..guys often complain that girls are so damn annoyingly complicated. or at least they make everything complicated. well. that's what they say in magazines anyway, i dont know whether they actually think that in real life. but i totally agree. hey man. obviously i have my moments too but it's just how our gender is. that's why having guy friends to just like totally chill out with and not worry or think about how life stinks and where the universe originated from and what our purpose on earth is and why am i just so sad and pissed off with everyone and feeling so oppressed.. i think it's a great thing. the great thing about guys i think is that they.. well most of them.. are much more light hearted about things and more ready to let go instead of screw their mind inwardly over and over again over stupid questions. yea. we.. girls.. remember that i am one.. are so damn annoying. but that's just the way things are. i shall try to take an even more light hearted approach to situations of absolute distress from now on. contrary to another popular belief - girls can indeed learn some stuff from guys. however.. if a friendship turns into something more complicated.. that stinks like hell. get out of it. get out of it!! warning warning warning.. they evolve when things get deeper.. things will be extremely different.. relationships are a lie!!! the emotional baggage is much heavier than whatever a girl could carry. personal opinion. but hey man. this is MY blog. sigh. was thinking when a person gets involved in a relationship of sorts. the friendships he/she has do change. as much as one vehemently denies it. esp if they're around each other a lot. i guess somethings are just inevitable. and it's quite sad that things have to go that way.. you feel unable to talk as freely as before.. and maybe dont really get much chance to either.. i dont know. but then again.. i guess that's just how things are.

i am having an extremely tough time typing today. my words just cant flow. my english has gone to the dogs. hey maybe not! i just used an idiom! hallelujah! my typing has a very staccato like rhythm to it. a very uneven one that is. with many many pauses. have no idea why. this is very weird. i better stop soon.

disappointment. some things will never change huh. but.. it's none of my business and im probably not in any position to comment or judge. so. i'll just shut up now.

look at today's verse [ The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
Galatians 5:14 ] i think that's extremely difficult to do.. coz i believe human beings.. will always be self centred creatures.. no matter how 'great' one is. it's just human nature. yea u can love your friends. and i do believe that command would apply quite a lot. but what about people u have grievances with? are they too not ur neighbour? sigh. it's extremely extremely hard. i know i definitely have problems with that. i guess.. i've got something to work on really. haha. how reluctant. people often ask so many questions about christianity. and i myself have many doubts as well. i was gonna type i myself, as a christian, but just realised that that is so damn self-righteous. this is so sad. i know i am one.. do i? yes i do! i am a christian! but.. do i actually abide by the word of God and truely with all my heart and soul trust in him and the plan he has for me. i cant say yes. i have a lot of doubts. and i guess i always will. but to people who always ask so many questions.. esp.. 'how can we have faith in God if we cant even see any proof of his existance?'. what irony. u dont need to see to believe. it is is a faith. i hope the day will come i can say with all my heart and soul that i do really live for the Lord. life will be so much more.