just watched war of the worlds again. and it just made me feel quite sad, scared and vulnerable. even more than the first time i caught it. something is happening to me.. i cant write as smoothly as before.. but i'll try my best to put my thoughts into words..

the movie was ok for me.. not great or bad. just ok.. i realise that having been a lit student for so long.. well ok actually even more so after coming to jc coz sec sch lit is really very blah. u tend to have this need to analyze everything. gone are the days when u can read books in peace without wondering what the author is trying to convey and whether there are any hidden meanings behind the words of the characters or even their actions.. dressings etc. and i realise that the same applies to movies.. i could hardly concentrate on the story instead i was trying to take a look into spielberg's mind.. for example there was this scene around the start of the movie where cruise was standing against the window of a building and from the reflection u could see the people running by and the aliens.. or machines rather zapping them.. like he films from so many different angles.. instead of straight on.. and im only discovering something which is like peanuts to film makers. they really are creative and amazingly intelligent people. my dad was saying that the movie was great coz it shows the ugly side of human beings.. yea people really will change in times of crisis.. sad but it's just.. how we are. i guess. there was one scene where cruise told his son, robbie, that the machines/aliens were not from around here or something like that. and robbie was like where? europe? ... i thought that totally brought out how some americans.. well a lot actually i would think are kinda narrow minded in the sense that they really do think that the america is THE world. i have nothing against america.. u would know if u had read a previous entry.. but.. i wonder if this attitude and mindset of americans will be what destroys them in the end. mm. i dont know.

anyways. dont u realise. anyone of us could just die any second. it need not be an alien attack (i cant believe my dad said he doesnt know whether aliens exist. i thought i would get an emphatic NO. but he said the bible never mentioned... he doesnt know.. actually that is true.. but.. i dont know i just cant imagine other life out there except maybe a few ameoba like thingies living on mars or something) or terrorists it could just be anything! like my com could suddenly blow up in my face... now........... now..............NOW. phew it didnt happen im still here ok. it's scary. it's crazy. we're so vulnerable. everything we're worrying about now.. mugging.. relationships.. whatever.. it just wont even matter anymore if something crazy like that happened.. i mean of course im not saying o right so it doesnt matter! we dont need to study! it's stupid! we do have to get on with what seems important now in life.. just because. dont feel like going into that now. but sigh.. terrorists. god. it's scary. honestly they scare the hell out of me. i cant even begin to imagine the horror if they managed to cause some destruction here in singapore. we would all be screwed. the scary thing is u never know. u never will know where. or when. was telling my dad just now.. why are asians so stupid!!! (no i dont have anything against being an asian i am not ashamed of my race or anything) it's just that they're always doing stupid things or bad things! terrorists are some damn warped brain-washed people stemming from asia. and then some really ignorant asians like william hung make their way to america (sorry william ): ) and just give us an even worse image! so now everyone thinks that asians are either stupid or violent idiots without a heart! and who can we blame except ourselves! smart people! good asians! where are u!!!!!

why the hell would people wanna spend their lives KILLING OTHERS.. o my god i will never understand. never understand. and i dont want to either coz it would mean that i've really gone crazy coz no one normal could ever understand. TERRORISTS.. GO SCREW YOURSELVES. GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!! UP YOURS!!!! I HOPE U GUYS HAVE ALTERNATING DAYS OF CONSTIPATION AND DIAHORREA!!!!! sometimes when i watch movies i think o my goodness what if i was the one shot or stabbed i cant even begin to imagine what that would feel like.. and to know that your loved ones are all dead.. or even be in an explosion.. o my goodness.. im just. i dont think im can even say anymore.. except.. SCREW YOU DAMN TERRORISTS!!!!!!

we are so very vulnerable. every single second. i really need to learn how to cherish what i have now. there's so much more to life. after life. we all need to i guess.. i dont care if this entry makes me sound like some childish fool. i really seem to have lost my command of the language. i would be glad to engage u in a depressing conversation anytime about our vulnerability in life if anyone is interested for the fee of 1 million bucks.

ok. i just have to add this in. a close friend of mine has this very STUPID... ACQUAINTANCE who thinks his life is a living hell coz of a breakup and he's the worst off person in the entire universe. yes! worse off than people who had their loved ones blasted to bits in the twin towers. yes! worse off to kids in africa with hiv and living in extreme poverty. yes! worse off than kids abused by their parennts and rape victims who live the rest of their lives in shame. even when im feeling sorry for myself i KNOW that i should not be feeling this way as im a damn lucky person compared to many out there. so. c'mon man. GET A FREAKING LIFE!!!! these people just PISS the hell out of you. dammit!