OMG BLOG I MISSED U!!!!!!!!!
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yea ok moving on now

hallelujah! i dunno why im in a super super high mood now. and it's been like eons since i last blogged. i should explain why. this week has obviously been a horribly busy week and i would blog but i dont wanna talk about exams.. so there. anyways! i wanna talk about a lot of things today! haha!

so anyway i just had the record journey of my life! if you are danielle reading this ignore me as i repeat all my everything! coz i must record all my stupid thoughts and re use my stupid jokes! like i told danielle i had to call guisness to give them my record! the book not the beer!! hahahaaa!! i am so not funny!

yea anyway so guess whattttttttttttt.. what?!?!?!! i just reached home after a very treacherous 3 1/3 hour journey. i almost died/got raped/got knocked down. let me explain. firstly.. we left school at about 545 then mel had to put back her jacket so we waited for her then we went to 711 then we went to the bus stop. due to 48 having become my favourite bus i decided to let a 36 go and wait for 1 so as i stood down there all by my lonesome self, guess who came to join me?? yes. chok. hoho. it's not that i dislike chok i really like chok but me and teachers have no affinity at all. km damn damn high. (im sorry danielle haha). so anyways a few years passed and i grew a head of white hair and finally 36 came. yessss!!!! so zoom.. ok not zoom coz it was freaking damn slow like some stupid jam.. so i got out at the national library.. well the old one and took 700.. then i decided to get down at somerset coz i thought there'd be like a jam in orchard.. so i took the mrt.. and it was so freaking damn crowded (now where have we heard those 2 words before...) and when u're a singaporean if u're not gonna make the effort to squeeze your way pass the crowd going out into the train.. u're not getting anywhere. so i got on the next train and after a few mins of getting squashed i reached newton. so i went to wait for my bus 700 and.. omg! there i see it! oi uncle! wait! stop! zoooooooooooooooom. yea it really zoomed past this time. crapshit it was freaking crowded that's why. so i walked to the ulu-er bus stop and took the first bus that came. after like 15 mins. 67 which went the long long way. then i was dreaming.. and suddenly poof! i saw a shell and i thought this must be my stop! and i got down and i realised that i had thought the shell was the esso which was at my house.. shit so i thought it was a stop down.. so i started the long journey.. down the path of the unknown.. and freak that place is even ulu-er and damn dark and there were a lot of foreign workers there.. and the thing is if i dont walk on the pavement.. all the buses and all that zoom past you it's really like u can get knocked down any second.. but i survived! so i realised i had missed 2 bus stops not one and i walked all the way down.. finally.. i reached home at the fantastic time of 915.

i am so proud of myself. phew. SPLEENY PIGEON-EGG!!! hahahaaa sighhhh.

so anyway.. well.. u know talking bout that reminded me of something.. when i was in switzerland with the guides for the camp of my life last time.. we went to the train station to.. the real kind not the fake mrt. and we were standing quite close to the line.. and then the train came and the teacher was shouting at us to step back. at that point in time i had a huge dislike for her and so being the stubborn person i was.. i didnt really step back while everyone else did coz i just didnt wanna listen to someone i didnt like. i know.. im really a big fat idiot. so the train came zooming back.. as in really really really damn fast.. and i was almost really either gonna get sucked in or thrown back.. and my friends came to pull me back.. if i remember correctly. sometimes when i think back about it.. i honestly really could have.. died. a bit exaggerated but seriously. the force was crazy and all just coz i was being an idiot. needless to say i got a freaking damn big scolding afterwards.. but yea. i guess we all learn from our mistakes. unless of course we die. which i didnt. so that's the point. i dont have a problem with authority.. only if u're unreasonable but here i realise i was the unreasonable one.

so anyway i wanted to say something about odac. i realise all my paragraphs start with so anyway. i realise i say anyway a lot. well ok so.. i havent been to the odac room in a really long time i think. but i went there this morning.. and even though im not close to odac people like .. most of the other odacers hang around quite a bit .. it was just nice to be there.. and just be part of odac again.. you know? like.. be 'home' as shiqi puts it.. at least we have a 'home' while everyone has to hang outside the hall. haha sighh. so yea that's about it (:

sooooooo. now i wanna talk about exams. no not omg it was so hard im gonna fail talk. but.. just what i've kinda gotten out of this period. ive never been more unprepared in my life. honestly. the amount of cramming ive put in this week has been miraculous and even if i missed out a lot of stuff. wow. God really must have been there.. and yet i feel damn freaking relaxed now. u know? like.. i expect not to do well.. but i'll just accept anything i get and why not on the way.. just enjoy the ride.. :) and i think i've learnt a lot in this period.. like.. come to the realisation of a lot of things.. and weirdly i think this exam has brought me closer to my friends too.. which just makes me v happy coz friends are such ah huge part of who you are and your life.. you know how sometimes u receive an sms and it just makes u happy even if it may be irrelevant to that person.. but to you it's just great to know that someone is thinking bout you.. and someone knows that you do think/care about them too :) shit i sound so mushy. but yea u get what i mean. well what the heck i get what i mean. but yea these prelims have been good for me.. i think in a lot of ways. im not talking bout academic wise.. but yea.. :)

mmm.. o yea so after math paper this morning we went to sakae to eat before lit.. and zhen said she didnt think i would get married. hahaa i think so too. so sad right. hahaa sad because.. i think it's just a natural instinct of human beings to wanna be together and not alone. but i really do agree with zhen.. im not.. i cant.. there's a lot of things i dont think i could do in a relationship or whatever. so. yea whatever. i dont give a shit now. so anyway.. yea we were walking to sakae when we bumped into mel's dad and her grandmother i think and.. it was just so heartwarming! i dont know how to describe it! i think the problem in this country is that.. a lot of people especially families are unable to express their feelings. but mel is american and americans are more open definitely.. i asked mel for permission to write about her so i hope it's ok.. haha but anyway mel's dad kinda like hugged her and stuff and he said this is 'my mel'. ok i almost melted. really. haha it's so so rare to see affection nowadays.. as in genuine affection not boy-girl whatever shit affection. and.. just v touching man. and her grandmother too. sigh :) mel! you are very lucky! :) but if i was mel's dad i would be danggggggggg proud of my daughter too :) mel my daughter.. me a man.. ok that will never happen.

we were all really dreading lit coz everyone was super super tired.. and i hate practical criticism. every monday when i do actually go for lessons.. i spent the whole time staring at the clock waiting for it to reach 3:40 .. group discussions in prac crit are just really not my thing.. but today's paper was so. damn. fun. i think maybe it had something to do with the poem.. shall put it here later.. i really loved it. i read it at first and i thought it was ok but when i started writing my essay.. o wow. i just really actually enjoyed writing. something which i have not for an extremely long time. made me really happy. i dont care if i dont do well coz i usually dont im just glad i had fun :)

u know how a lot of things happen in life here ane there.. good or bad.. and somehow everything just pieces themselves together and.. it's just amazing. mr ho said something to me in the letter.. i may have put it here before i dont know but i shall put it again if i did so anyway. he said the great thing bout life is that anyday that u decide u want to start living again you can. and that's the beauty of life. something along those lines. and it really is. dont u think? life really is beautiful. i hope i dont get off this high and regret typing all this. but i really appreciate everything.. and every single person in my life. so if u're part of it i thank you very much.. (:

i cant remember if i had more to say.. but i shall not shall just put the poem here today which so many people loved! it's beautiful really. that word sounds just.. too pure and nice for me to use. but it really is beautiful.. :)

Al Mornington

They told me that when I was taken
to the sea's edge, for the first time,
I leapt from my father's arms
and was caught by a wave and rolled
like a doll among rattling shells;
and I seem to remember my father
fully clothed, still streaming with water
half comforting, half angry.
And indeed I remember believing
as a child, I could walk on water -
the next wave, the next wave -
it was only a matter of balance.

On what flood are they bourne,
these memories of early childhood
iridescent, fugitive
as light in a sea-wet shell,
while we stand, two friends of middle age,
by your parents' grave in silence
among avenues of the dead
with their cadences of trees,
marble and granite parting
the quick of autumn grasses.
We have the wholeness of this day
to share as we will between us.

This morning I saw in your garden
fine pumpkins grown on a trellis
so it seemed that the vines were fising
to flourish the fruits of the earth
above their humble station
in airy defiance of nature
- a parable of myself,
a skinful of elements climbing
from earth to the fastness of light;
now come to that time of life
when our bones begin to wear us,
to settle our flesh in final shape
as the drying face of land
rose out of earth's seamless waters.
I dreamed once, long ago,
that we walked among day-bright flowers
to the bench in the Brisbane gardens
with a pitcher of water between us,
and stayed for a whole day
talking, and drinking the water.
Then, as night fell, you said
"There is still some water left over."
We have one day, only one,
but more than enough to refresh us.

At your side among the graves
I think of death no more
than when, secure in my father's arms,
I laughed at a hollowed pumpkin
with candle flame for eyesight,
and when I am seized at last
and rolled in one grinding race
old dreams, pain, memories, love and grief,
from which no hand will save me,
the peace of this day will shine
like light on the face of the waters
that bear me away for ever.

i cant believe i just typed all that.. but it's really nice..
i just realised my brother is coming back from brunei next tuesday. i honestly forgot that he existed.. well sometimes i do. quite sad right.

ok man. peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee IN.