Friday, December 28, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
---
im watching a show where this girl is describing her journey to india alone... but it just got too slightly ridiculous to take... apparently she hired a female guide for the entire week to just bring her around etc... but last min they called and said they could only provide a guy... so she decided to bring a crapload of long pants... long sleeved stuff etc... and... at the end of this long explanation she said, in expectation of a 'wow!' reaction or some shit
i didnt even bring any comestics!!!
ok this whole story sounds damn ridiculous coz i am translating it from some chinese vid i found in the most watched entertainment section of youtube...
but MAN. which idiot brings freaking makeup if u're freaking planning to backpack or something!?!
sigh.
i didnt even bring any comestics!!!
ok this whole story sounds damn ridiculous coz i am translating it from some chinese vid i found in the most watched entertainment section of youtube...
but MAN. which idiot brings freaking makeup if u're freaking planning to backpack or something!?!
sigh.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
-
"Do you not recognize that that is a blessing from God?
That misery is God screaming out at you that all these things are worthless and you need Christ."
That misery is God screaming out at you that all these things are worthless and you need Christ."
Saturday, October 20, 2007
root of all evil
got a shock today when i was withdrawing cash
checked out the receipt and seems like somehow over night my account somehow decreased by a thousand bucks.
quickly got home. checked my account online.
found out mostly it's coz cheques made out for my apt now and for next year were banked in...
and i dont know. the point im trying to make is...
it bothers me when the money supply keeps dwindling and all of a sudden too.
i used to think i didnt give a shit about money coz i hardly spent anyway
but i think this is one of those instances when u realize that
u're not longer a kid.
not in the sense that caring about how much u have left in the bank gives u an automatic right to "become matured" overnight
coz that's freaking damn bullshit.
but. like. u just really gotta take on much more responsibility.
for yourself and others.
and i think that's one thing i've really realised a lot over here when the dependcy (is there such a word) factor kinda leaves.
and it's not just money. but now. it's the money that im earning.
not that i would not feel guilty about spending my parents money.
but you do think a lot more. when you have to proportion it out.
and am forced to take note of how much u're spending here and there.
if not u'd have none left to pay for bills... etc...
i would still say money is freaking bullshit.
i would like to say i completely dont care...
but i cant. coz the reality of this world draws you in.
people have been giving me stress telling me that my salary will be based on the kind of degree i get.
which is true. but which really sucks and i just wanna tell them to shut the hell up.
so that's what it is.
cash is just cash.
and life shall go on as i want to. but just a check on finances now and then.
actually my point was that that moment of "shit what the hell. 1000 bucks gone where" kinda was one of those instances where you realise u've stepped over that border of no longer being a kid anymore. whether you like it or not.
but apprently i kinda drifted away from the topic...
shit. i dont think i expressed what i wanted to express.
sigh.
i guess at the end of the day i just want enough to be self sufficient.
am going to support myself dammit.
and give some to __________. yeah.
on a different note.
i freaking hate it when some girls depend on guys for everything.
it's disgusting and makes me sick.
ok.
GO WATCH THE MOVIE PEOPLE!
checked out the receipt and seems like somehow over night my account somehow decreased by a thousand bucks.
quickly got home. checked my account online.
found out mostly it's coz cheques made out for my apt now and for next year were banked in...
and i dont know. the point im trying to make is...
it bothers me when the money supply keeps dwindling and all of a sudden too.
i used to think i didnt give a shit about money coz i hardly spent anyway
but i think this is one of those instances when u realize that
u're not longer a kid.
not in the sense that caring about how much u have left in the bank gives u an automatic right to "become matured" overnight
coz that's freaking damn bullshit.
but. like. u just really gotta take on much more responsibility.
for yourself and others.
and i think that's one thing i've really realised a lot over here when the dependcy (is there such a word) factor kinda leaves.
and it's not just money. but now. it's the money that im earning.
not that i would not feel guilty about spending my parents money.
but you do think a lot more. when you have to proportion it out.
and am forced to take note of how much u're spending here and there.
if not u'd have none left to pay for bills... etc...
i would still say money is freaking bullshit.
i would like to say i completely dont care...
but i cant. coz the reality of this world draws you in.
people have been giving me stress telling me that my salary will be based on the kind of degree i get.
which is true. but which really sucks and i just wanna tell them to shut the hell up.
so that's what it is.
cash is just cash.
and life shall go on as i want to. but just a check on finances now and then.
actually my point was that that moment of "shit what the hell. 1000 bucks gone where" kinda was one of those instances where you realise u've stepped over that border of no longer being a kid anymore. whether you like it or not.
but apprently i kinda drifted away from the topic...
shit. i dont think i expressed what i wanted to express.
sigh.
i guess at the end of the day i just want enough to be self sufficient.
am going to support myself dammit.
and give some to __________. yeah.
on a different note.
i freaking hate it when some girls depend on guys for everything.
it's disgusting and makes me sick.
ok.
GO WATCH THE MOVIE PEOPLE!
Friday, October 19, 2007
WATCH THIS.
some asshole left some porn shit on my chatterbox.
but screw it. that is not enough to... prevent me from being happy tonight.
what a week of suffering man.
seriously i think uni is more tiring than o--f----. the latter isnt really. coz. adrenaline man. just sian. but. phwoar. im exhausted.
haven blogged for damn long. and have a lot to say. but dont want to. haa.
just wanted to ask everyone to watch this movie. not sure if it's showing in SG or UK or wherever. but when it comes out/if it's out. do yourself a favour and catch it.
dammit im trying to find the link coz the title is quite complicated and i dont wanna get it wrong but my wireless KEEPS DYING ON ME. sigh. single floor apt man! cant wait. hehhh. ok if im willing to go downstairs just to post this one entry... this movie is definitely worth it. am nt easily pleased!
ok that's it.
Tyler Perry's why did i get married
it's just... a good show. go catch it.
cant wait for the days of checking the shoe area for clue of certain presences to be over... HEH.
but screw it. that is not enough to... prevent me from being happy tonight.
what a week of suffering man.
seriously i think uni is more tiring than o--f----. the latter isnt really. coz. adrenaline man. just sian. but. phwoar. im exhausted.
haven blogged for damn long. and have a lot to say. but dont want to. haa.
just wanted to ask everyone to watch this movie. not sure if it's showing in SG or UK or wherever. but when it comes out/if it's out. do yourself a favour and catch it.
dammit im trying to find the link coz the title is quite complicated and i dont wanna get it wrong but my wireless KEEPS DYING ON ME. sigh. single floor apt man! cant wait. hehhh. ok if im willing to go downstairs just to post this one entry... this movie is definitely worth it. am nt easily pleased!
ok that's it.
Tyler Perry's why did i get married
it's just... a good show. go catch it.
cant wait for the days of checking the shoe area for clue of certain presences to be over... HEH.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
-
there's nothing that irks me more than seeing/hearing people flirt.
it just fills me with disgust.
i dont know why.
since when has society become so open.
or am i just being left way behind.
it just fills me with disgust.
i dont know why.
since when has society become so open.
or am i just being left way behind.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
happyyyyyyyyyy.
OMG IM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAA!!!!
OVER SOMETHING SOOOOO SOOOOOO SMALLLLLLLLLLLLLL...
BUT YET IT MEANS SO MUCH!!!!!!
i cant believe i finally mustered up some courage.... AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why does the word mustered look weird?!?! or is it mastered?!?! crapppp i dont care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the moment i stepped out onto the quad...
just wanted to jump and shout and scream and smile like a piece of crap..
but couldnttttttttt. had to blend in with normal students who raise discussion points normally.
SO I"LL DO IT HERE!!!!!
YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sigh im such an idiot such an idiot but dont care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAA!!!!
OVER SOMETHING SOOOOO SOOOOOO SMALLLLLLLLLLLLLL...
BUT YET IT MEANS SO MUCH!!!!!!
i cant believe i finally mustered up some courage.... AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why does the word mustered look weird?!?! or is it mastered?!?! crapppp i dont care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the moment i stepped out onto the quad...
just wanted to jump and shout and scream and smile like a piece of crap..
but couldnttttttttt. had to blend in with normal students who raise discussion points normally.
SO I"LL DO IT HERE!!!!!
YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sigh im such an idiot such an idiot but dont care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
BLEURGH
i swear never to cook ever again.
or eat again.
i dont think i could touch food again ever.
MAN. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
goodsense stomach relief is the WORST SHIT ive tasted in my life. MAN. appearances are deceiving.
it looks like some nice pink colour (actually that should be the first sign of suspicion...)
and it smells like rootbeer...
but when u put that shit into your mouth and it flows down ur throat...
MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like puking even more.
STOMACH RELIEF?!?!
I will be DAMN RELIEVED when im done drinking this crap. 2 tablespoons every half hour interval for freaking FOUR HOURS!!!!
noooooooooooo.....
and i am turning into a whinny piece of crap.
noooooooooooooooooo...
all right... i feel it rising... off to puke again...
or eat again.
i dont think i could touch food again ever.
MAN. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
goodsense stomach relief is the WORST SHIT ive tasted in my life. MAN. appearances are deceiving.
it looks like some nice pink colour (actually that should be the first sign of suspicion...)
and it smells like rootbeer...
but when u put that shit into your mouth and it flows down ur throat...
MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like puking even more.
STOMACH RELIEF?!?!
I will be DAMN RELIEVED when im done drinking this crap. 2 tablespoons every half hour interval for freaking FOUR HOURS!!!!
noooooooooooo.....
and i am turning into a whinny piece of crap.
noooooooooooooooooo...
all right... i feel it rising... off to puke again...
Monday, September 24, 2007
book
a book to reccomend...
still aliv- by ruth klug-r
(sorry bout the hyphens. do not wanna be googled and am applying primitive IT knowledge. replace - with e)
it arouses a... spectrum of emotions let's just put it this way.
and not just sentimental bullshit. which the author hates.
but at the same time... you dont just blindly accept what she says.
but question it. some of her words might... for the lack of a better word... annoy you. but... it's just a very very honest and insightful read...
and i dont think ive been so... emotional at the end of it as i have been by any other.
not only because she talks of her persecution with regards to being a Jew and the holocaust.
there's no sympathy involved here.
but the epilogue. speaking as a human being here.
just makes you feel sad.
still aliv- by ruth klug-r
(sorry bout the hyphens. do not wanna be googled and am applying primitive IT knowledge. replace - with e)
it arouses a... spectrum of emotions let's just put it this way.
and not just sentimental bullshit. which the author hates.
but at the same time... you dont just blindly accept what she says.
but question it. some of her words might... for the lack of a better word... annoy you. but... it's just a very very honest and insightful read...
and i dont think ive been so... emotional at the end of it as i have been by any other.
not only because she talks of her persecution with regards to being a Jew and the holocaust.
there's no sympathy involved here.
but the epilogue. speaking as a human being here.
just makes you feel sad.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
thoughts at 430 in the morn...
i realise that im an ass for when i choose to bring up the past.
or hang on to it in ____-____ and even though self is refusing to let go still end up shifting the blame.
u only become a victim of yourself?
maybe sometimes.
so yeah. we all gotta move on. so... move on it is.
or hang on to it in ____-____ and even though self is refusing to let go still end up shifting the blame.
u only become a victim of yourself?
maybe sometimes.
so yeah. we all gotta move on. so... move on it is.
Monday, September 17, 2007
best western ive seen
3:10 to yuma is one of the best movies ive watched in a damn long time.
when i was young i used to be very on about action movies... having a brother and all.
but my taste has turned a bit grandmotherish as ive grown older... into documentaries and sentimental meaningful weird stuff.
but wow. i really liked this show... weird coz it's a western... but there's damn good action. and of course... that sentimental bit. but my male er... counterparts werent as impressed as i was. weird. so i guess that means... girls go check it out!!!! not sure if it's opened in sg though... ok shafy go check it out! hahaa (:
if you wanna talk screen presence... christian bale is the man to look for.
when i was young i used to be very on about action movies... having a brother and all.
but my taste has turned a bit grandmotherish as ive grown older... into documentaries and sentimental meaningful weird stuff.
but wow. i really liked this show... weird coz it's a western... but there's damn good action. and of course... that sentimental bit. but my male er... counterparts werent as impressed as i was. weird. so i guess that means... girls go check it out!!!! not sure if it's opened in sg though... ok shafy go check it out! hahaa (:
if you wanna talk screen presence... christian bale is the man to look for.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
bloody fools.
racism wil always be present.
was gonna delve into some more bullshit.
wait is that even how you spell delve. or is there such a word. or is it dive. let's check out dictionary.com
o right delve is a word indeed. i guess it's 1 of those words you say way more than you write.
BUT anyway. yeah.
i just... i cannot tolerate... racist fools.
you know. i can reach out my hand and laugh and hide like a bloody idiot
and im damn sure i can outslam you and your stapler dammit.
sigh. pissed off like hell. but... for what?
i really am an idiot.
was gonna delve into some more bullshit.
wait is that even how you spell delve. or is there such a word. or is it dive. let's check out dictionary.com
o right delve is a word indeed. i guess it's 1 of those words you say way more than you write.
BUT anyway. yeah.
i just... i cannot tolerate... racist fools.
you know. i can reach out my hand and laugh and hide like a bloody idiot
and im damn sure i can outslam you and your stapler dammit.
sigh. pissed off like hell. but... for what?
i really am an idiot.
Friday, September 14, 2007
cook cook cook!!!!!!
MY NEW AMBITION IS TO BE A DAMN GOOD COOK!!!!!
cooked for the first time in my life 2 days ago on my own directions...
noodle... ok fine instant mee... BUT with cabbage bought from last sat from farmers' market.. (SHIT! it feels damn good to be housewifeish) fresh from the fields of illinois! and chicken which i bought from walmart!! AH HA HA!!!!
BUT it was bland as hell. dunno why.
but i tried again today. and... AHH!! CAN MAKE IT!!!!!!!!
getting my mother to rapidly email me recipes.
sigh. damn. freaking domesticated man.
but somehow am... liking it...
now if only...
hahahahahahaaaa
sigh. i am retarded.
COOK COOK COOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if i gather some guts... things might be looking up...
Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
cooked for the first time in my life 2 days ago on my own directions...
noodle... ok fine instant mee... BUT with cabbage bought from last sat from farmers' market.. (SHIT! it feels damn good to be housewifeish) fresh from the fields of illinois! and chicken which i bought from walmart!! AH HA HA!!!!
BUT it was bland as hell. dunno why.
but i tried again today. and... AHH!! CAN MAKE IT!!!!!!!!
getting my mother to rapidly email me recipes.
sigh. damn. freaking domesticated man.
but somehow am... liking it...
now if only...
hahahahahahaaaa
sigh. i am retarded.
COOK COOK COOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if i gather some guts... things might be looking up...
| Your dating personality profile: Intellectual - You consider your mind amongst your assets. Learning is not a chore but a constant search after wisdom and knowledge. You value education and rationality. Traditional - Modern culture does not move you. You hold traditional values dear to your heart. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. | Your date match profile: Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw him out of his shell and get to know what he is all about. |
Your Top Ten Traits 1. Intellectual 2. Traditional 3. Big-Hearted 4. Wealthy/Ambitious 5. Shy 6. Religious 7. Liberal 8. Romantic 9. Sensual 10. Practical | Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Religious 2. Practical 3. Shy 4. Funny 5. Conservative 6. Traditional 7. Intellectual 8. Big-Hearted 9. Athletic 10. Sensual |
Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | High |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very High |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Low |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Low |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | Very Low |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Low |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Low |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Very Low |
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
Saturday, September 08, 2007
the best example of irony
i was trying to get some slp yesterday night when someone msged me at 245 and asked me how things were going and what's up for the weekend.
i told person in question what i was going to be doing... which im pretty happy about... other than having a shitload of things to catch up on now.. was gonna be doing some stuff with friends.. going to this farmer's market thing... which i think is damn cool with friends i havent caught up with in some time... and then catch a film and have dinner at this great place... and for once... im kinda genuinely looking forward to the weekend not just for a break from school.
but when i got the reply... person said... that it didnt "sound very refreshing or productive... you know what i think? you should really do more of what you want to do rather than what other people want you to do. party hard for a change... get drunk and have some fun with friends."
i was really kinda surprised. and it really did annoy me a bit... i dont want to elaborate further other than... there's a shitload of irony in there.
-----------------------------
i actually kinda enjoyed myself today. maybe things might be looking up.
-----------------------------
am listening to a song and there's a line that goes
zai wo xin shang yong li de kai yi qiang
meaning like... shoot my heart damn freaking hard. hahaa...
but i dont know... i just love that line. love it.
i really love how chinese can just really... express things...
wish mine was better.
i told person in question what i was going to be doing... which im pretty happy about... other than having a shitload of things to catch up on now.. was gonna be doing some stuff with friends.. going to this farmer's market thing... which i think is damn cool with friends i havent caught up with in some time... and then catch a film and have dinner at this great place... and for once... im kinda genuinely looking forward to the weekend not just for a break from school.
but when i got the reply... person said... that it didnt "sound very refreshing or productive... you know what i think? you should really do more of what you want to do rather than what other people want you to do. party hard for a change... get drunk and have some fun with friends."
i was really kinda surprised. and it really did annoy me a bit... i dont want to elaborate further other than... there's a shitload of irony in there.
-----------------------------
i actually kinda enjoyed myself today. maybe things might be looking up.
-----------------------------
am listening to a song and there's a line that goes
zai wo xin shang yong li de kai yi qiang
meaning like... shoot my heart damn freaking hard. hahaa...
but i dont know... i just love that line. love it.
i really love how chinese can just really... express things...
wish mine was better.
Friday, September 07, 2007
mu
just so happened to come across this yesterday
it's hilarious. ronan keating just kills me.
but... i love it.
have a soft spot for boyzone...
and anything old school man. damn classic :D
remember when i first saw this vid.
during some excursion in pri sch to some library to do some funny IT thing.
i think that was the first time i realised guys existed for some reason (not thanks to the vid) coz before my bro didnt count.
scary shit.
but ahhhhh... what memories...
we really are getting old.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
it shows
sometimes you wonder whether you're being a bit harsh
but when shit hits the fan
true feelings are really shown
that selfishness
and unfortunately you were right
so why is there still disappointment
man. things are just so damn superficial.
but when shit hits the fan
true feelings are really shown
that selfishness
and unfortunately you were right
so why is there still disappointment
man. things are just so damn superficial.
no puke
overheard someone saying
"the spider weaved a few eggs in my leg"
today when i was eating.
prob too much food in her mouth and too mch crap in my ears
but shit i think that's one of the most disgusting things i've heard ever.
i know it's only a spider. and eggs. and like a body part.
but that's a freaking damn lethal combination...
eeeeeeyyyyyyyerrrrrrrr arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
bought the chair and it cost me 20 more than the original price DAMMIT.
actually in sg terms it's bout 30 bucks more.... shit. :(
"the spider weaved a few eggs in my leg"
today when i was eating.
prob too much food in her mouth and too mch crap in my ears
but shit i think that's one of the most disgusting things i've heard ever.
i know it's only a spider. and eggs. and like a body part.
but that's a freaking damn lethal combination...
eeeeeeyyyyyyyerrrrrrrr arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
bought the chair and it cost me 20 more than the original price DAMMIT.
actually in sg terms it's bout 30 bucks more.... shit. :(
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
T square.
im watching an american pbs frontline documentary on the tiananmen square incident.
which of course produced the famous picture of that one chinese guy apparently standing in defiance in front of the tanks.
and all i can think is...
you know people kinda tend to believe what they hear...
that's how propaganda works.
and often from such a one-sided point of view.
but the world is so damn retarded and human beings stupid as hell
that it often isn that way.
im not saying that nothing happened and it's all bullshit
coz it's a clear violation of human rights..
but i just dont really kinda favour the approach given to it... or any other thing for that matter.
so im hearing in this documentary... well... it is american.
things like... he must have been thinking... he must have said this...
and... i dont know man...
have become extremely cynical and er... unbelieving in the things people say (or so i say now. bet im still naive as crap). there's such a thin line drawn between fact and personal opinion... YES. that's it. it's human nature to put things across how you want it to be... no matter how much u pride urself on being objective.
crap i dont know how to put my thoughts across.
GAH.
actually. i think the best selfish thing to do is
not give a shit. not give a shit and ur world will be a better place.
or maybe... give a shit when u can do something about it.
but those are 2 screwed up responses too...
to give a shit or not!!!!
i think yes... but maybe under the control of emotions and without thinking bout crap like this day and night.
okok we must.
just looked at my schedule for the semester ahead
it's crazy. crazy crazy. very disgusting indeed. i really need to study abroad.
ahhh.
screwed man.
--------------------------------------------
DAMMIT THE CHAIR I'VE BEEN WANTING TO BUY FOR 2 WEEKS BUT HAVENT DUE TO PROCRASTINATION HAS INCREASED BY FREAKING 20 USD!!!!!!!!!
)!@(&(!*@$)!@#*_!
i think i'll just lie on my floor and study/use my laptop for the rest of my time overseas.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH
DUN PROCRASTINATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wah lao. im damn... cik kek man.
u know that singaporean expression.
but i just dont know how to type it out.
like dialect for damn annoyed or something.
sometimes i think i really should cut back on all my singaporean slangs...
too many wah laos and stuff.
and maybe cut back on more... eh.. for lack of a better word. unlady like terms like screwed and shit and hell and things like that... which i try to replace with crap when im typing. but actually... im thinking of something else.
coz it makes everything sound so... bad.
but i cant! coz the expression is just different.
all right. unladylike it shall be.
dont think anyone expects the opposite anyway.
which of course produced the famous picture of that one chinese guy apparently standing in defiance in front of the tanks.
and all i can think is...
you know people kinda tend to believe what they hear...
that's how propaganda works.
and often from such a one-sided point of view.
but the world is so damn retarded and human beings stupid as hell
that it often isn that way.
im not saying that nothing happened and it's all bullshit
coz it's a clear violation of human rights..
but i just dont really kinda favour the approach given to it... or any other thing for that matter.
so im hearing in this documentary... well... it is american.
things like... he must have been thinking... he must have said this...
and... i dont know man...
have become extremely cynical and er... unbelieving in the things people say (or so i say now. bet im still naive as crap). there's such a thin line drawn between fact and personal opinion... YES. that's it. it's human nature to put things across how you want it to be... no matter how much u pride urself on being objective.
crap i dont know how to put my thoughts across.
GAH.
actually. i think the best selfish thing to do is
not give a shit. not give a shit and ur world will be a better place.
or maybe... give a shit when u can do something about it.
but those are 2 screwed up responses too...
to give a shit or not!!!!
i think yes... but maybe under the control of emotions and without thinking bout crap like this day and night.
okok we must.
just looked at my schedule for the semester ahead
it's crazy. crazy crazy. very disgusting indeed. i really need to study abroad.
ahhh.
screwed man.
--------------------------------------------
DAMMIT THE CHAIR I'VE BEEN WANTING TO BUY FOR 2 WEEKS BUT HAVENT DUE TO PROCRASTINATION HAS INCREASED BY FREAKING 20 USD!!!!!!!!!
)!@(&(!*@$)!@#*_!
i think i'll just lie on my floor and study/use my laptop for the rest of my time overseas.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH
DUN PROCRASTINATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wah lao. im damn... cik kek man.
u know that singaporean expression.
but i just dont know how to type it out.
like dialect for damn annoyed or something.
sometimes i think i really should cut back on all my singaporean slangs...
too many wah laos and stuff.
and maybe cut back on more... eh.. for lack of a better word. unlady like terms like screwed and shit and hell and things like that... which i try to replace with crap when im typing. but actually... im thinking of something else.
coz it makes everything sound so... bad.
but i cant! coz the expression is just different.
all right. unladylike it shall be.
dont think anyone expects the opposite anyway.
Monday, September 03, 2007
-
it's the small things that matter.
it's so like... mixed and disappointing and... effortless.
not in the sense that it's easy. but in the sense that... no effort will make a difference.
which ends up making one a fool.
waiting out.
a complete fool.
i have the itch to blog at times...
coz you just need to get some crap out.
but i hate it.
coz if there's nothing positive to say i really should just shut the hell up.
it's so like... mixed and disappointing and... effortless.
not in the sense that it's easy. but in the sense that... no effort will make a difference.
which ends up making one a fool.
waiting out.
a complete fool.
i have the itch to blog at times...
coz you just need to get some crap out.
but i hate it.
coz if there's nothing positive to say i really should just shut the hell up.
das
before...
kinda after... minus eh... a printer and bin... and small mess...
yeah it's massive. to me at least. but...
it's pretty cold angry confused... yet comforting.
-----------------------------
really dun know what to do.
kinda after... minus eh... a printer and bin... and small mess...
yeah it's massive. to me at least. but...
it's pretty cold angry confused... yet comforting.
-----------------------------
really dun know what to do.
Friday, August 31, 2007
0302
what's wrong with me.
im supposed to reading a damn long article on anti-semitism and taking down notes
or going pit pat pit pat like hell.
and all i can do is think about the army and my buddies i miss
and listen to weird songs like xin bu liao qing.
wl... you have to stop being such an ass.
sometimes when i browse back to the shit i wrote in the past
i feel like giving myself a 1x good slap for being such an immature childish fool.
but then i guess things haven changed.
sometimes i walk alone..
taking in all the sights...
and think how 'far' ive come in life.. never for the life of me would i have expected
on the first freaking day i stepped into vj. the first time i'd seen so many guys in my life
and that scared the shit out of me
that i'd be doing what i am today.
and boy did i have people betting against me even going anywhere.
xin bu liao qing has to stop for a while. i cant multi task right now.
sigh. i realised that my blog suddenly comes to a halt for the long period of time i was in service.
there're so many things i want to say
so many people i want to see again whom i really miss
so many people i hope who are doing well...
but here i am stuck in my room listening to xin bu liao qing and typing this shit.
which is really really crap coz i dont know what im saying.
all i know is that im trying to fill up the time between deciding whether i should take a nap...
or read bout anti-semitism.
...
actually im lying to myself. it's whether i should take a nap or listen to more xin bu liao qing.
...
MAN! get a grip please.
my mind isnt here. it keeps drifting back to the a--y. why. why why why.
i wish i didnt think so much.
it kills me.
and it's a damn horrific murder.
my 0302 sect mates... i miss u guys so much all of a sudden.
i hate it. absolutely hate it sometimes when ppl talk about the a--y in such emotional terms because it's a profession... there's no place to be a cauldron of bubbling mixed emotions...
but... i cant help it.
you gave me an experience that... really was pretty life changing.
thanks.
any shit that came along or will come along...
it'll all be more than worth it.
im supposed to reading a damn long article on anti-semitism and taking down notes
or going pit pat pit pat like hell.
and all i can do is think about the army and my buddies i miss
and listen to weird songs like xin bu liao qing.
wl... you have to stop being such an ass.
sometimes when i browse back to the shit i wrote in the past
i feel like giving myself a 1x good slap for being such an immature childish fool.
but then i guess things haven changed.
sometimes i walk alone..
taking in all the sights...
and think how 'far' ive come in life.. never for the life of me would i have expected
on the first freaking day i stepped into vj. the first time i'd seen so many guys in my life
and that scared the shit out of me
that i'd be doing what i am today.
and boy did i have people betting against me even going anywhere.
xin bu liao qing has to stop for a while. i cant multi task right now.
sigh. i realised that my blog suddenly comes to a halt for the long period of time i was in service.
there're so many things i want to say
so many people i want to see again whom i really miss
so many people i hope who are doing well...
but here i am stuck in my room listening to xin bu liao qing and typing this shit.
which is really really crap coz i dont know what im saying.
all i know is that im trying to fill up the time between deciding whether i should take a nap...
or read bout anti-semitism.
...
actually im lying to myself. it's whether i should take a nap or listen to more xin bu liao qing.
...
MAN! get a grip please.
my mind isnt here. it keeps drifting back to the a--y. why. why why why.
i wish i didnt think so much.
it kills me.
and it's a damn horrific murder.
my 0302 sect mates... i miss u guys so much all of a sudden.
i hate it. absolutely hate it sometimes when ppl talk about the a--y in such emotional terms because it's a profession... there's no place to be a cauldron of bubbling mixed emotions...
but... i cant help it.
you gave me an experience that... really was pretty life changing.
thanks.
any shit that came along or will come along...
it'll all be more than worth it.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
dvds
why. why cant people just return their dvds on time.
the world would be a much better place...
ARGH.
love actually is a very feel good movie.
it does a bit of magic to your spirits...
i dont know why people are so into the whole 'to me you are perfect'
i mean i get it... but....
i still like the one with the portuguese girl.
makes you feel like learning portuguese.
but that is besides the point.
learning a language is so much more than a feeling...
anyway
check out www.duckzbunny.blogspot.com . they've got a lot more nice stuff.
you can get something for yourself... your sister... girlfriend... boyfriend... whatever it is...
OK?? :D
affirmative
fantastic.
the world would be a much better place...
ARGH.
love actually is a very feel good movie.
it does a bit of magic to your spirits...
i dont know why people are so into the whole 'to me you are perfect'
i mean i get it... but....
i still like the one with the portuguese girl.
makes you feel like learning portuguese.
but that is besides the point.
learning a language is so much more than a feeling...
anyway
check out www.duckzbunny.blogspot.com . they've got a lot more nice stuff.
you can get something for yourself... your sister... girlfriend... boyfriend... whatever it is...
OK?? :D
affirmative
fantastic.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
i hate human beings.
just emailed a couple of people... so i wont say so much here... it's difficult to.
things have been... really busy since i moved back onto campus... moving into my new apartment... and classes are not going my way... things were ok at first... maybe even shockingly not bad... now... for certain reasons i just feel a huge void
and at the moment due to a certain incident im incredibly pissed off. but i have a right to settle this. and i will try to assert it.
was in class yesterday and something the prof said rang extremely true... he said... people (meaning people in the developed world... mainly the west) always try to settle the 'problems' of those in the third world... but yet they never ever ask these people whether they want that help or what kinda help them want. i really really couldnt agree more... it's like treating them like objects. these pitiful objects. but no. they are living breathing human beings just like you and me. just because they're in conditions which are 'worse' (ok admittedly a genocidical condition is downright tragic but im not talking about that here) doesn mean it's for us to judge what is good and bad. and it does not further mean that we can view them as things to be helped. and not as human beings of equal intelligence. but jsut a different culture. OK?! GOT THAT?
dammit. i dont know. people are disgusting. we are disgusting.
my prof was talking about the environmental problems and such... (the first lecture i attended i felt like a total dope. half the time i didnt even know what the hell he was talking abt. seriously think im just not cut out for this studying stuff.) and he said... what we need is LESS technology and science.. (which people keep 'inventing' to solve what are essentially the problems of humanity) but more social responsibility and political voice... shit i really couldnt agree more.
sigh. why. why why why. why is the world such an ugly place and people so flawed. can you tell me.
things have been... really busy since i moved back onto campus... moving into my new apartment... and classes are not going my way... things were ok at first... maybe even shockingly not bad... now... for certain reasons i just feel a huge void
and at the moment due to a certain incident im incredibly pissed off. but i have a right to settle this. and i will try to assert it.
was in class yesterday and something the prof said rang extremely true... he said... people (meaning people in the developed world... mainly the west) always try to settle the 'problems' of those in the third world... but yet they never ever ask these people whether they want that help or what kinda help them want. i really really couldnt agree more... it's like treating them like objects. these pitiful objects. but no. they are living breathing human beings just like you and me. just because they're in conditions which are 'worse' (ok admittedly a genocidical condition is downright tragic but im not talking about that here) doesn mean it's for us to judge what is good and bad. and it does not further mean that we can view them as things to be helped. and not as human beings of equal intelligence. but jsut a different culture. OK?! GOT THAT?
dammit. i dont know. people are disgusting. we are disgusting.
my prof was talking about the environmental problems and such... (the first lecture i attended i felt like a total dope. half the time i didnt even know what the hell he was talking abt. seriously think im just not cut out for this studying stuff.) and he said... what we need is LESS technology and science.. (which people keep 'inventing' to solve what are essentially the problems of humanity) but more social responsibility and political voice... shit i really couldnt agree more.
sigh. why. why why why. why is the world such an ugly place and people so flawed. can you tell me.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
shit
i hate the feeling that i cant feel at ease in my own apartment.
but what i hate even more is guys who treat girls like a piece of property and downright shit. dammit!
but what i hate even more is guys who treat girls like a piece of property and downright shit. dammit!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
dead
im so tired. so tired that if you put shit in front of me i would eat it not knowing that it was shit.
that's how tired i am. too tired to come up with something witty to say. something tasteful to say.
and instead i end up turning into some crass crude person.
but i dont care. coz im tired.
yes lynette! i will blog soon! and reply u!
hahaa so exciting.
in the meantime... yes i am still very much alive.
that's how tired i am. too tired to come up with something witty to say. something tasteful to say.
and instead i end up turning into some crass crude person.
but i dont care. coz im tired.
yes lynette! i will blog soon! and reply u!
hahaa so exciting.
in the meantime... yes i am still very much alive.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
jealous kind
i built another temple to a stranger
i gave away my heart to the rushing wind
i set my course to run right into danger
i sought the company of fools instead of friends
you know i've been unfaithful
with lovers in lines
while you're turning over tables
with the rage of a jealous kind
i chose the gallows to the aisle
thought that love would never find
hanging ropes will never keep you
and your love of a jealous kind
love of a jealous kind
tryin' to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading
for solace in the shift of the sinking sand
i'd rather feel the pain all too familiar
than be broken by a lover i don't understand
'cause i don't understand
love of a jealous kind, yeah
love of a jealous kind
love of a jealous kind
one hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars
if i should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace
and love that shames the wise
betrays the hearts deceit and lies
and breaks the back of foolish pride
love of a jealous kind
love of a jealous kind
love of a jealous kind
---------------------------------------------------------
im so grateful mel lent me the jars of clay cd... what's it called again.. er...
o yeah who we are instead. i really... really like their songs and everything rings so true... im not very into music. and in fact it pisses me off at times. but if there's a cd to get. it's that.
i feel like typing a really really long post on any shit i want to say but yet i dont feel like coz im in an extremely uncomfortable position. yes im even talking about insignificant minute dumb details like this. coz i just want to type. i want to see whether at the end of this all... i can kinda see the 'big picture'. or whatever deep shit im trying to see. but seeing that i just used the phrase deep shit. i dont think im gonna get very far here. i dont care. my fingers are just gonna move. move move move. and im gonna change the filter to become more permeable. yeah man. semi permeable is out!
--------------------------------------------
first thing that comes to mind... is God. i really... dislike. talking about this issue... coz it's such a touchy sensitive subject. something so straightforward has just produced a crapload of grey areas coz we as humans mess up so many things because of our own selfish thoughts and needs.
but the honest truth is i think ive fallen away damn freaking far. and a long time ago. crappppppppp hahaaa... im starting to think i shouldnt go on anymore... but... IT"S OK. i wont say too much. sigh. dont worry wl. this is ok... ahhhhhh... inner voice speaking man. but anyways. yeah. so much so that... ive just become so consumed with my own stupid selfish rocky life... yes occassionally i wonder. in the states... there've been times when i was really. really in need... and... something. i dont know if it's God. but something which happened for a while... just vanished. disappeared. as fast as it came. shit i could go on and on... but ok man. i shall put my fantastic summarizing and filtering skills to work. woohoo.
the truth is... i think i really dont know how to believe. and i have no faith. that was difficult to type. but i really think i have no faith. since coming back to sg... esp of recent. there've been a number of people who just... suddenly... out of the blue started talking to me about this... and it all started in camp. i dont know why. maybe i have some unGodly glow about me. hahaa. and damn. that would suck bad.
im damn cynical about churches i think. because. im totally disappointed in the behavior of people and prob myself. some idiot to call myself a christian. and... it's just difficult to progress from there. i dont know how to elaborate further. there're so many things which... i feel like i see it another way. and i dont know whether it's because of all these unGodly characteristics building up within. is it? i know i will never be able to jump up and down and raise my hands in praise... i think. i know that im freaking passive. there're so many characteristics of a strong christian that... bewilder me. and i can never be.
yesterday was an off day in camp. and i went back. and a friend there was talking to me about this... and... i dont know. things like that mean a lot to me... im not gonna elaborate further. hahaa suddenly im at a loss of words. there's so much more to say. but i dont really know what to type anymore.
there's been something ive been thinking about... and i think there've been signs. but my selfish.. human longings and needs is putting it away. i think. i dont know. sigh. i think that song kinda describes what i feel... but. difference being i think i have no heart to give away. dammit.
ill always remember something my dad said. that... things will be very different when you really believe. your life will take a 180 degrees change. your perspective will change. and all the small, minute insignificant details of life... all these disgusting things that humans do... they wont matter anymore. i think i still believe that's true. and if it is. i cannot... cannot wait for it to happen. but i dont know how.
----------------------------------------------------------
i dont know whether im going to be able to go on talking about something else after that. but i shall try. this one even more sensitive. hahahaaa but in a different way. so... heh. chopchop.
my 10 (and more) working weeks have been... very very very interesting... ok suddenly i dont know what more to say. by right. my life since last jan... has gone through a lot of change... well of a different kind... i think. and there should be a shitload of things to talk about. to blog about. but i just refuse to. refuse refuse refuse. for reasons. but... let's see... ive learnt a lot. during the past 2 1/2 months. wow. that's it. i just cant say anymore. all the good and bad. it's just too personal. but i will say... that i love what i do. it scares the shit out of me for some reasons... but i really... really hope i can ________ people here... i really hope i can do something.
the people ive met... i think i put a lot of emotions into everything i do... am very guided by that... dont know if its good or bad.. but im just gonna be myself and do and think the way i feel is right. im sick of people telling me i should be this way and that... im not gonna listen to anymore of this bullshit.
hahaa this was huge to me... but wow. that's it. i cant say anything more coz it means too much.
-----------------------------------------------------------
my time in the states seems so far away. so long ago. that honestly i cant remember much about it. and it's difficult to talk about. so i guess we'll leave it at that.
----------------------------------------------------------
i love singapore.
like. really. this country holds so many memories and all man.
watching ndp... ok im not very into the 'show' stuff cept the cute starfish which were flapping their arms about... quite interestingly... and the i dont know... the seahorse guy... or sealion... o right. lionfish or something. wah lao if i were his parents i would be freaking proud of my son. apart from the slightly scary outfit and makeup.
there's really no other place i want to me. it reall really bewilders me how people can go overseas... and not want to come home? but i guess to each his/her own.
on an unrelated note. if you really want to make a difference. you can do it in everyday life. to the people around you. or in ways which even though are not necessarily seen, you know, that you're making a difference. you know... pictures of all these ________ ________. i'll always feel its an exploitation. but people exploit it further ourselves. for our own good. and it sickens me even more.
---------------------------------------------------------
you know sometimes the loneliness gets to you.
---------------------------------------------------------
i think i had a lot more to say. but i dont care. basically just gonna say that... i really... really (insert four letter l word which i just cant say/type) and appreciate every single one of my friends... and every single second spent together in this increasing humid island...
you're not judged. the only one judging you is yourself.
so thanks guys/girls. im not expressive at all but it all means a shitload to me. any small meeting...
i hate myself for being an ass. at times. when i dont meet up or whatever. but... i dont not coz i cant be bothered. but there are reasons. but ive been trying to be less of an ass... and i hope its been working out.
i think i've let people down... a lot... coz the truth of the matter is that im a coward. and i really. really apologise...
i'll really miss all of you when i go back...
-------------------------
i want a one week break from the world from whatever freaking bullshit.
i think a lot of people would appreciate that.
a pity it's impossible.
and suddenly i just feel so _______.
shit man. shit.
i gave away my heart to the rushing wind
i set my course to run right into danger
i sought the company of fools instead of friends
you know i've been unfaithful
with lovers in lines
while you're turning over tables
with the rage of a jealous kind
i chose the gallows to the aisle
thought that love would never find
hanging ropes will never keep you
and your love of a jealous kind
love of a jealous kind
tryin' to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading
for solace in the shift of the sinking sand
i'd rather feel the pain all too familiar
than be broken by a lover i don't understand
'cause i don't understand
love of a jealous kind, yeah
love of a jealous kind
love of a jealous kind
one hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars
if i should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace
and love that shames the wise
betrays the hearts deceit and lies
and breaks the back of foolish pride
love of a jealous kind
love of a jealous kind
love of a jealous kind
---------------------------------------------------------
im so grateful mel lent me the jars of clay cd... what's it called again.. er...
o yeah who we are instead. i really... really like their songs and everything rings so true... im not very into music. and in fact it pisses me off at times. but if there's a cd to get. it's that.
i feel like typing a really really long post on any shit i want to say but yet i dont feel like coz im in an extremely uncomfortable position. yes im even talking about insignificant minute dumb details like this. coz i just want to type. i want to see whether at the end of this all... i can kinda see the 'big picture'. or whatever deep shit im trying to see. but seeing that i just used the phrase deep shit. i dont think im gonna get very far here. i dont care. my fingers are just gonna move. move move move. and im gonna change the filter to become more permeable. yeah man. semi permeable is out!
--------------------------------------------
first thing that comes to mind... is God. i really... dislike. talking about this issue... coz it's such a touchy sensitive subject. something so straightforward has just produced a crapload of grey areas coz we as humans mess up so many things because of our own selfish thoughts and needs.
but the honest truth is i think ive fallen away damn freaking far. and a long time ago. crappppppppp hahaaa... im starting to think i shouldnt go on anymore... but... IT"S OK. i wont say too much. sigh. dont worry wl. this is ok... ahhhhhh... inner voice speaking man. but anyways. yeah. so much so that... ive just become so consumed with my own stupid selfish rocky life... yes occassionally i wonder. in the states... there've been times when i was really. really in need... and... something. i dont know if it's God. but something which happened for a while... just vanished. disappeared. as fast as it came. shit i could go on and on... but ok man. i shall put my fantastic summarizing and filtering skills to work. woohoo.
the truth is... i think i really dont know how to believe. and i have no faith. that was difficult to type. but i really think i have no faith. since coming back to sg... esp of recent. there've been a number of people who just... suddenly... out of the blue started talking to me about this... and it all started in camp. i dont know why. maybe i have some unGodly glow about me. hahaa. and damn. that would suck bad.
im damn cynical about churches i think. because. im totally disappointed in the behavior of people and prob myself. some idiot to call myself a christian. and... it's just difficult to progress from there. i dont know how to elaborate further. there're so many things which... i feel like i see it another way. and i dont know whether it's because of all these unGodly characteristics building up within. is it? i know i will never be able to jump up and down and raise my hands in praise... i think. i know that im freaking passive. there're so many characteristics of a strong christian that... bewilder me. and i can never be.
yesterday was an off day in camp. and i went back. and a friend there was talking to me about this... and... i dont know. things like that mean a lot to me... im not gonna elaborate further. hahaa suddenly im at a loss of words. there's so much more to say. but i dont really know what to type anymore.
there's been something ive been thinking about... and i think there've been signs. but my selfish.. human longings and needs is putting it away. i think. i dont know. sigh. i think that song kinda describes what i feel... but. difference being i think i have no heart to give away. dammit.
ill always remember something my dad said. that... things will be very different when you really believe. your life will take a 180 degrees change. your perspective will change. and all the small, minute insignificant details of life... all these disgusting things that humans do... they wont matter anymore. i think i still believe that's true. and if it is. i cannot... cannot wait for it to happen. but i dont know how.
----------------------------------------------------------
i dont know whether im going to be able to go on talking about something else after that. but i shall try. this one even more sensitive. hahahaaa but in a different way. so... heh. chopchop.
my 10 (and more) working weeks have been... very very very interesting... ok suddenly i dont know what more to say. by right. my life since last jan... has gone through a lot of change... well of a different kind... i think. and there should be a shitload of things to talk about. to blog about. but i just refuse to. refuse refuse refuse. for reasons. but... let's see... ive learnt a lot. during the past 2 1/2 months. wow. that's it. i just cant say anymore. all the good and bad. it's just too personal. but i will say... that i love what i do. it scares the shit out of me for some reasons... but i really... really hope i can ________ people here... i really hope i can do something.
the people ive met... i think i put a lot of emotions into everything i do... am very guided by that... dont know if its good or bad.. but im just gonna be myself and do and think the way i feel is right. im sick of people telling me i should be this way and that... im not gonna listen to anymore of this bullshit.
hahaa this was huge to me... but wow. that's it. i cant say anything more coz it means too much.
-----------------------------------------------------------
my time in the states seems so far away. so long ago. that honestly i cant remember much about it. and it's difficult to talk about. so i guess we'll leave it at that.
----------------------------------------------------------
i love singapore.
like. really. this country holds so many memories and all man.
watching ndp... ok im not very into the 'show' stuff cept the cute starfish which were flapping their arms about... quite interestingly... and the i dont know... the seahorse guy... or sealion... o right. lionfish or something. wah lao if i were his parents i would be freaking proud of my son. apart from the slightly scary outfit and makeup.
there's really no other place i want to me. it reall really bewilders me how people can go overseas... and not want to come home? but i guess to each his/her own.
on an unrelated note. if you really want to make a difference. you can do it in everyday life. to the people around you. or in ways which even though are not necessarily seen, you know, that you're making a difference. you know... pictures of all these ________ ________. i'll always feel its an exploitation. but people exploit it further ourselves. for our own good. and it sickens me even more.
---------------------------------------------------------
you know sometimes the loneliness gets to you.
---------------------------------------------------------
i think i had a lot more to say. but i dont care. basically just gonna say that... i really... really (insert four letter l word which i just cant say/type) and appreciate every single one of my friends... and every single second spent together in this increasing humid island...
you're not judged. the only one judging you is yourself.
so thanks guys/girls. im not expressive at all but it all means a shitload to me. any small meeting...
i hate myself for being an ass. at times. when i dont meet up or whatever. but... i dont not coz i cant be bothered. but there are reasons. but ive been trying to be less of an ass... and i hope its been working out.
i think i've let people down... a lot... coz the truth of the matter is that im a coward. and i really. really apologise...
i'll really miss all of you when i go back...
-------------------------
i want a one week break from the world from whatever freaking bullshit.
i think a lot of people would appreciate that.
a pity it's impossible.
and suddenly i just feel so _______.
shit man. shit.
gah.
it's really difficult to blog.
coz you cant really say what you want to say.
and of course it's your problem for even setting up this weird thing and wanting to say whatever you wanna say in the first place and yet later complaining that you cant.
coz... brutal honesty is quite impossible...
you cant really reveal ur true thoughts with the knowledge that this is not private.
so more or less everything that comes out has gotta go through some filter.
and there are differences in filters too.
there's the... i really dont want people to know what im completely talking about so im just gonna leave out some shit/exclude some shit filter... through which posts usually come out more choppy and not so understandable.. but there's the other filter where... i actually want people to think that im being revealing and brutally honest and baring my soul to the world and if they want to judge me. they will. and of course they are going to judge me to be a person of excellent character because im being oh so 'brutally honest'. which leads to freaking contrived shit.
but there're prob other categories. but i cant be bothered to think or type something nice now. ive been wanting to blog bout a lot of things. but not really sure what to say. which ends up in me not saying anything. sigh. shit.
i dont know if im being too cynical. or even like... __________. but... u know. just screw it. i honestly think maybe im a person of not so good character or misguided in some way to think of things in this bs way. but. we'll see la. this kinda leads to something else i wanted to say... but shall just stop here first.
coz you cant really say what you want to say.
and of course it's your problem for even setting up this weird thing and wanting to say whatever you wanna say in the first place and yet later complaining that you cant.
coz... brutal honesty is quite impossible...
you cant really reveal ur true thoughts with the knowledge that this is not private.
so more or less everything that comes out has gotta go through some filter.
and there are differences in filters too.
there's the... i really dont want people to know what im completely talking about so im just gonna leave out some shit/exclude some shit filter... through which posts usually come out more choppy and not so understandable.. but there's the other filter where... i actually want people to think that im being revealing and brutally honest and baring my soul to the world and if they want to judge me. they will. and of course they are going to judge me to be a person of excellent character because im being oh so 'brutally honest'. which leads to freaking contrived shit.
but there're prob other categories. but i cant be bothered to think or type something nice now. ive been wanting to blog bout a lot of things. but not really sure what to say. which ends up in me not saying anything. sigh. shit.
i dont know if im being too cynical. or even like... __________. but... u know. just screw it. i honestly think maybe im a person of not so good character or misguided in some way to think of things in this bs way. but. we'll see la. this kinda leads to something else i wanted to say... but shall just stop here first.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
humans
is it in human nature to just...
not be able to shut up about things.
you know how the bible speaks about...
men doing things... which need only be recognized by God
but not by the whole world...
unfortunately that's not how majority of humans work
coz they want some recognition...
and up comes this dramatic story with deliberate attempts to construct it.
it sickens me to death.
disgusting shit
not be able to shut up about things.
you know how the bible speaks about...
men doing things... which need only be recognized by God
but not by the whole world...
unfortunately that's not how majority of humans work
coz they want some recognition...
and up comes this dramatic story with deliberate attempts to construct it.
it sickens me to death.
disgusting shit
s
hahaa.
suddenly i feel so damn bloody stupid.
haa.. yeah.
really stupid you know?
hahaa really really dumb.
suddenly i feel so damn bloody stupid.
haa.. yeah.
really stupid you know?
hahaa really really dumb.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
come back...
stressed.
there're just too many things to do in 2 weeks.
it's impossible.
no it's possible.
but. ultimately...
shit. sigh.
yo pau i wrote the story myself.
and yes alcohol sucks no matter what.
i just cannot stand a single drop of that crap.
it's disgusting.
im way happier being a nerd and even drinking milk or something.
yes nette. potter. i need to go draw up a schedule of sorts of what to do...
hahaa i dont know why the approach keeps coming from the wrong directions.
as hilarious as it is it's freaking saddening.
there must be some weird vibe. or aura.
MAN. suay la. FREAKING SUAY.
sometimes i dont know why i bother.
it's impossible.
because the others are so so colorful...
and... then there's the matter of that... uncertainty.
and time and distance.
hahaa. am i interpreting things wrongly?
detachment is a cruel thing.
you know.
on an unrelated note.
si nian shi yi zhong bing.
there're just too many things to do in 2 weeks.
it's impossible.
no it's possible.
but. ultimately...
shit. sigh.
yo pau i wrote the story myself.
and yes alcohol sucks no matter what.
i just cannot stand a single drop of that crap.
it's disgusting.
im way happier being a nerd and even drinking milk or something.
yes nette. potter. i need to go draw up a schedule of sorts of what to do...
hahaa i dont know why the approach keeps coming from the wrong directions.
as hilarious as it is it's freaking saddening.
there must be some weird vibe. or aura.
MAN. suay la. FREAKING SUAY.
sometimes i dont know why i bother.
it's impossible.
because the others are so so colorful...
and... then there's the matter of that... uncertainty.
and time and distance.
hahaa. am i interpreting things wrongly?
detachment is a cruel thing.
you know.
on an unrelated note.
si nian shi yi zhong bing.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
triceratops
tired. just very very tired.
really dont want to go back to the states now.
for many many reasons.
sigh.
was just thinking bout this.
once upon a time... there lived some tyranasaurus rexes, some brontosauruses, and some triceratops. all of which im sure i have spelt wrongly.
the triceratops was supposed to belong to the brontosauruses (in my story).
but no. somehow. this particular one was a completely different species.
and so it grew up awkwardly.
while the borntosauruses matured in all their elegance with their long, slender necks, chomping on freaking coconut leaves... all the triceratop had to show for its outward maturation was the growing of horns and increasing size, chomping on...
unfortunately. before i can even contemplate the next line...
the triceratop has died of an internal wound to its heart.
but the tyranasaurus rexes had always assumed that its hard, 'armoured', garang exterior was inpenetrable. and while they would accompany the brontosauruses on their journey back home to the caves after a splash in the sea, they had always left the triceratop alone to navigate and topo its way back to checkpoint H.
when the triceratop died. they just assumed it was hibernating.
and so the triceratop became extinct.
really dont want to go back to the states now.
for many many reasons.
sigh.
was just thinking bout this.
once upon a time... there lived some tyranasaurus rexes, some brontosauruses, and some triceratops. all of which im sure i have spelt wrongly.
the triceratops was supposed to belong to the brontosauruses (in my story).
but no. somehow. this particular one was a completely different species.
and so it grew up awkwardly.
while the borntosauruses matured in all their elegance with their long, slender necks, chomping on freaking coconut leaves... all the triceratop had to show for its outward maturation was the growing of horns and increasing size, chomping on...
unfortunately. before i can even contemplate the next line...
the triceratop has died of an internal wound to its heart.
but the tyranasaurus rexes had always assumed that its hard, 'armoured', garang exterior was inpenetrable. and while they would accompany the brontosauruses on their journey back home to the caves after a splash in the sea, they had always left the triceratop alone to navigate and topo its way back to checkpoint H.
when the triceratop died. they just assumed it was hibernating.
and so the triceratop became extinct.
Monday, July 23, 2007
(:
the thing about sensitivity.
it has as many advantages as it does disadvantages.
i realised im freaking easily pleased.
and touched.
by the smallest, weirdest things.
which then proceed to keep me up all night long.
resulting in a slightly cranky mood the next day.
til the cycle repeats itself.
dee if you're reading this you're missed!
hope all is well.
it has as many advantages as it does disadvantages.
i realised im freaking easily pleased.
and touched.
by the smallest, weirdest things.
which then proceed to keep me up all night long.
resulting in a slightly cranky mood the next day.
til the cycle repeats itself.
dee if you're reading this you're missed!
hope all is well.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
alcohol tastes like serious shit.
yesterday was good.
if you have daughters send them to mg.
there is some shit. but if you stay on the right path...
it's a damn freaking good education on life
and you meet the best people.
you can not meet up for 2/3 years and nothing changes.
for example.
the geniuses so are freaking knowledgeable and intelligent still remain quite the opposite in everyday life.
haa.
apparently judging from this morning's results. or lack thereof.
i might not be allergic to alcohol afterall.... dammit.
either it was too meagre an amount. (which is already a massive x 1000000000000000 understatement)
or. on that extremely eventful night 2-3 years ago,
manda and i were both having the same dream.
seriously. how do people drink this crap.
just dont get it.
if you have daughters send them to mg.
there is some shit. but if you stay on the right path...
it's a damn freaking good education on life
and you meet the best people.
you can not meet up for 2/3 years and nothing changes.
for example.
the geniuses so are freaking knowledgeable and intelligent still remain quite the opposite in everyday life.
haa.
apparently judging from this morning's results. or lack thereof.
i might not be allergic to alcohol afterall.... dammit.
either it was too meagre an amount. (which is already a massive x 1000000000000000 understatement)
or. on that extremely eventful night 2-3 years ago,
manda and i were both having the same dream.
seriously. how do people drink this crap.
just dont get it.
Friday, July 20, 2007
-
was looking at some photos just now...
kinda realised how damn shitty people become as we age and how much crappier the world is despite any illusions about the how we have matured with wisdom and emotional intelligence and whatever other delusions we might have.
it's just freaking disgusting.
all worries and concerns now are just so full of it.
things which made me sick.. make me even sicker.
it's not holding onto the past and refusing to let go...
it's more... going back and kinda just embracing that 'goodness' again.
suddenly everything that seemed to matter recently.. can just take a backseat.
you realise you cant just settle for the next best thing. just because.
there's gotta be something more than that.
i swear my sis was the cutest kid ever.
so.. hm. what happened huh.
and. wow.
how my bro's 'love and affection' for his siblings has changed
Friday, July 13, 2007
hehhh
having nothing to do.. makes one miserable.
it seems so different... dont know why.
is it the anatomy thing or what man.
i hate all these freaking retarded facades
and over dramaticism.
although i doubt there's such a word
but i dont care
im gonna spell as i like
and say things as simply as i like
coz im a simple person
dont need to put in all this flowery language
and all that shit.
seriously give me a break.
and nette..
i think i update you also dont know what im talking about right.
hahahaaaa.
nvm. we can discuss this again over a walk in ecp.
with emphasis being walk
it seems so different... dont know why.
is it the anatomy thing or what man.
i hate all these freaking retarded facades
and over dramaticism.
although i doubt there's such a word
but i dont care
im gonna spell as i like
and say things as simply as i like
coz im a simple person
dont need to put in all this flowery language
and all that shit.
seriously give me a break.
and nette..
i think i update you also dont know what im talking about right.
hahahaaaa.
nvm. we can discuss this again over a walk in ecp.
with emphasis being walk
Monday, July 02, 2007
gah
suddenly i just feel like punching someone.
bang bang bang.
im not terribly musically inclined.
but man. paul McCartney's "this never happened before"
i remember i first heard it during that film.. lakehouse
when reeves and bullock were dancing
and it's one of those songs which really arent that great..
and rather annoying at first
but then. it sticks in ur mind.
and now it's like. mind blowing.
and im talking like some bimbotic piece of crap.
but i dont care.
coz i just want to type.
type type type.
if i dont type i might punch someone.
so the former is definitely better.
right?
WRONG!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im tired.
tired.
really.
it's been a very very interesting 5 weeks.
but im not going to really talk about it.
coz i dont like to talk about it.
there're so damn many grey areas
and when one is passionate about something..
those feelings are damn unexpressible. inexpressible?
is there every such a word?
gah i dont care.
im just tired.
this never happened before!!!!
and i might not be the most assertive person on earth...
but dont mess with me.
im not stupid.
if the situation calls for some eyeball digging..
I"LL DO IT. I SWEAR.
dont look back in anger!!!!!! i heard you say
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
get on with it WL....
*trip over snail
and stab self with bayonet.
and while we're on this topic... how the HELL do you lose a freaking bayonet?
MAN. i dont get it.
yes im gonna start a revolution from my bed!!!!!!!
here's to a blardy good week ahead.
let's all drink to that.
ya.
chocolate milk man.
freaking milkmaid choc milk.
bang bang bang.
im not terribly musically inclined.
but man. paul McCartney's "this never happened before"
i remember i first heard it during that film.. lakehouse
when reeves and bullock were dancing
and it's one of those songs which really arent that great..
and rather annoying at first
but then. it sticks in ur mind.
and now it's like. mind blowing.
and im talking like some bimbotic piece of crap.
but i dont care.
coz i just want to type.
type type type.
if i dont type i might punch someone.
so the former is definitely better.
right?
WRONG!
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im tired.
tired.
really.
it's been a very very interesting 5 weeks.
but im not going to really talk about it.
coz i dont like to talk about it.
there're so damn many grey areas
and when one is passionate about something..
those feelings are damn unexpressible. inexpressible?
is there every such a word?
gah i dont care.
im just tired.
this never happened before!!!!
and i might not be the most assertive person on earth...
but dont mess with me.
im not stupid.
if the situation calls for some eyeball digging..
I"LL DO IT. I SWEAR.
dont look back in anger!!!!!! i heard you say
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
get on with it WL....
*trip over snail
and stab self with bayonet.
and while we're on this topic... how the HELL do you lose a freaking bayonet?
MAN. i dont get it.
yes im gonna start a revolution from my bed!!!!!!!
here's to a blardy good week ahead.
let's all drink to that.
ya.
chocolate milk man.
freaking milkmaid choc milk.
Friday, June 29, 2007
-
AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shit.
shit.
Monday, June 25, 2007
lone cherry
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh........
the 'sweet' taste of the R
which actually never had any possibility of existing
why is it that what actually comes knocking..
is just freaking weird.
why.
i need to learn to keep my emotions and pride in check
when people dont take me seriously.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
heartbreaking.
haa.
the cruelty of it all...
heartbreakingly so...
sigh.
maybe it's... just been so long.
hahaa.
what a fantasy.
a lesson in the dangers of idealism
and how everything is not meant to be ever.
:(
the cruelty of it all...
heartbreakingly so...
sigh.
maybe it's... just been so long.
hahaa.
what a fantasy.
a lesson in the dangers of idealism
and how everything is not meant to be ever.
:(
Saturday, June 23, 2007
50 cents was all it took.
thank God for the invention of dispensers.
red alert.
saved the day man.
they are my new favourite machines.
why's it still on my mind?
but i dont dare to do anything about it... no way.
am getting a small whiff of the torture.
i wonder if it's possible for 2 completely different entities... to merge.
i guess keeping those links are way more important than any more neurotic concerns.
right?
i knew i was right somewhere in there...
it's just such a damn shitty situation and mindset that cant be reversed...
which i need to just pull away and separate myself from.
red alert.
saved the day man.
they are my new favourite machines.
why's it still on my mind?
but i dont dare to do anything about it... no way.
am getting a small whiff of the torture.
i wonder if it's possible for 2 completely different entities... to merge.
i guess keeping those links are way more important than any more neurotic concerns.
right?
i knew i was right somewhere in there...
it's just such a damn shitty situation and mindset that cant be reversed...
which i need to just pull away and separate myself from.
Friday, June 22, 2007
seahorse
at the end of the day...
i really love what i do.
this reaffirmation has been rejuvenating...
they still exist.
but it doesn matter.
superficial things can be worked on.
right.
we're getting there slowly
i really love what i do.
this reaffirmation has been rejuvenating...
they still exist.
but it doesn matter.
superficial things can be worked on.
right.
we're getting there slowly
Saturday, June 16, 2007
help
am trying to remove myself from search engines...
bao en the code thing doesnt work.
have edited posts and taken my name away...
but crap. still doesnt work.
help? someone?
if not im prob gonna re-do this.
bao en the code thing doesnt work.
have edited posts and taken my name away...
but crap. still doesnt work.
help? someone?
if not im prob gonna re-do this.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
KB
i wonder how many ------- one can take
there has to be a limit right
am on a damn good path to finding out the answer to this sickening question.
but the bigger one is why do i even give so much of a shit?
is it an internal or external factor
shit
i understand her transformation now
it seems almost inevitable
am kinda heading down the same path...
minus that particular vice
there has to be a limit right
am on a damn good path to finding out the answer to this sickening question.
but the bigger one is why do i even give so much of a shit?
is it an internal or external factor
shit
i understand her transformation now
it seems almost inevitable
am kinda heading down the same path...
minus that particular vice
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
blah
im gonna be staying in camp... so just call/msg me if anything. anything. got a new cameraless phone which is working perfectly... i swear i will reply.
so.. contact me that way. thanks.
so.. contact me that way. thanks.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
apologies
theres nothing more that can be said.
too many apologies have been made.
but it's all useless.
it means zilch if there was even a need for it in the first place.
maybe ill be back when there's difference.
i dont know.
an interesting 3 days... which i shall not talk about here.
it's gonna be a whole different ballgame
we'll see.
too many apologies have been made.
but it's all useless.
it means zilch if there was even a need for it in the first place.
maybe ill be back when there's difference.
i dont know.
an interesting 3 days... which i shall not talk about here.
it's gonna be a whole different ballgame
we'll see.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
.
lameass mediacorp chinese shows always have those scenes where this person who's upset or pissed goes to the sea or railway tracks or some shit with his/her best friend and the idiot asks him/her to yell out really loud.. shout his/her head off to vent whatever crap.
and the person goes... zhen de. ke yi ma. or some crap like that.
and 'best' friend goes. ke yi. ni shi yi shi! again. some crap like that.
so the person gives out this freaking pathetic yelp.
like ahhhh.. especially if its a frail female. and she says wow. shu fu duo le. or something. and gives best friend a hug. or falls into her best friend's arms to cry.
but anyway the point is. although this scene will always remain lame beyond doubt
i feel like shouting out damn loudly now.
just a gut feeling.
which i can only release in short, intermittent 'rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' or 'arghhhhhhhhhhhhhs' in sparing a thought for neighbors.
so yeah. maybe those chinese shows are not so lameass after all.
maybe they do have a point.
take it.
dead.
really.
gone.
i could ahhhhhhhhh here. but have realised virtual ahhs dont work. they serve a very much different purpose. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. type type type. distraction you know. distract. distract distract. for what? procrastination. self-defence. but yet it has a very damn bloody tragic stupid irony.
SHIT.
and the person goes... zhen de. ke yi ma. or some crap like that.
and 'best' friend goes. ke yi. ni shi yi shi! again. some crap like that.
so the person gives out this freaking pathetic yelp.
like ahhhh.. especially if its a frail female. and she says wow. shu fu duo le. or something. and gives best friend a hug. or falls into her best friend's arms to cry.
but anyway the point is. although this scene will always remain lame beyond doubt
i feel like shouting out damn loudly now.
just a gut feeling.
which i can only release in short, intermittent 'rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr' or 'arghhhhhhhhhhhhhs' in sparing a thought for neighbors.
so yeah. maybe those chinese shows are not so lameass after all.
maybe they do have a point.
take it.
dead.
really.
gone.
i could ahhhhhhhhh here. but have realised virtual ahhs dont work. they serve a very much different purpose. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. type type type. distraction you know. distract. distract distract. for what? procrastination. self-defence. but yet it has a very damn bloody tragic stupid irony.
SHIT.
Monday, May 21, 2007
this title shit is pissing me off
you know someone who appears charismatic...
somehow has these special qualities..
and although there are negative attributes as well
you somehow overlook them
coz they dont really show themselves usually
or to other more unfamiliar people
makes one think that person is something special.. different
even if person does screws up.
over and over again.
somehow you think person can still make a name for him/herself
not susceptible to all this shit that mere mortals fall victim to
because person has the ability, charm.. street smarts needed to thrive
these are more valuable than all other more 'down to earth' qualities.
are they not.
but there comes a day...
when you realise that that really might not be the case..
and that charisma kinda turns into some disillusionment.
pure disillusion.
and you question yourself. whether your judgment now is right.
whether it can stand as a worthy competitor to those street smarts
but really when such selfishness appears coupled with pure idealism...
there really is not much competition between the two anymore.
especially when it concerns the wellbeing of others.
now what's left behind is a great deal of disappointment.
but probably... more anxiousness
but i guess... everyone has to learn their own lessons.
i might be wrong.
and i really hope i am.
somehow has these special qualities..
and although there are negative attributes as well
you somehow overlook them
coz they dont really show themselves usually
or to other more unfamiliar people
makes one think that person is something special.. different
even if person does screws up.
over and over again.
somehow you think person can still make a name for him/herself
not susceptible to all this shit that mere mortals fall victim to
because person has the ability, charm.. street smarts needed to thrive
these are more valuable than all other more 'down to earth' qualities.
are they not.
but there comes a day...
when you realise that that really might not be the case..
and that charisma kinda turns into some disillusionment.
pure disillusion.
and you question yourself. whether your judgment now is right.
whether it can stand as a worthy competitor to those street smarts
but really when such selfishness appears coupled with pure idealism...
there really is not much competition between the two anymore.
especially when it concerns the wellbeing of others.
now what's left behind is a great deal of disappointment.
but probably... more anxiousness
but i guess... everyone has to learn their own lessons.
i might be wrong.
and i really hope i am.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
.
on a really random note...
it seems that the knives just dont stop.. flying.
one after another.
and you realise that it really isnt a matter of..
what the knives are
but perspective
the substance of the skin or deeper maybe.
but a leopard just cant change its spots man.
it's true true true.
very painful spots.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
the bitter taste of bitterness
but there's something else more piercing in this shitty concoction.
is that how you spell it? think so. just typing it out...
looks like a freaking weird word... con-coc-tion...
sigh.
AH. STOP IT. ARGHHHH.
it seems that the knives just dont stop.. flying.
one after another.
and you realise that it really isnt a matter of..
what the knives are
but perspective
the substance of the skin or deeper maybe.
but a leopard just cant change its spots man.
it's true true true.
very painful spots.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
the bitter taste of bitterness
but there's something else more piercing in this shitty concoction.
is that how you spell it? think so. just typing it out...
looks like a freaking weird word... con-coc-tion...
sigh.
AH. STOP IT. ARGHHHH.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
home
yes... im home.
touched down at 120 am early on tuesday morn.
and. i am going back in on 28 may...
but im not sure how much time i have before that
coz.. the period between is gonna be a huge test. but anyways.
my phone is in the samsung shop now... stuck in repairs..
will be getting it back soon though.. and start contacting people then.
so.. i guess that's all i can say for now.
dont know why people complain about how hot it is upon coming back to sg though.
i dont feel a difference. maybe slightly. slightly. more humid.
but that's it.
well. it must really be the urge to complain then and point out a difference.
and i think jetlag is quite a bullshit concept.
as it stands the plane screws you up enough that it automatically adjusts your bodyclock to wherever you're going.
haa. for some reason i sound so bitter. but i am not!
stuck in my own world for a bit.
touched down at 120 am early on tuesday morn.
and. i am going back in on 28 may...
but im not sure how much time i have before that
coz.. the period between is gonna be a huge test. but anyways.
my phone is in the samsung shop now... stuck in repairs..
will be getting it back soon though.. and start contacting people then.
so.. i guess that's all i can say for now.
dont know why people complain about how hot it is upon coming back to sg though.
i dont feel a difference. maybe slightly. slightly. more humid.
but that's it.
well. it must really be the urge to complain then and point out a difference.
and i think jetlag is quite a bullshit concept.
as it stands the plane screws you up enough that it automatically adjusts your bodyclock to wherever you're going.
haa. for some reason i sound so bitter. but i am not!
stuck in my own world for a bit.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
6.5
6 and a half hours.
just to pack up everything ready to move out tomorrow.
mann.
tired.
HATE flying.
just to pack up everything ready to move out tomorrow.
mann.
tired.
HATE flying.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
bs
i can bullshit all right.
but how the heck am i going to bullshit a paper on terrorism for honors
in a single day
and to a professor who has a significant amount of intelligence with a phd in political science
dead.
dead.
dead.
but how the heck am i going to bullshit a paper on terrorism for honors
in a single day
and to a professor who has a significant amount of intelligence with a phd in political science
dead.
dead.
dead.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
abcdefg
i think the chinese language is a very beautiful language actually.
just been given a bad rep in sg... due to some negative conotations.
trying to plan some ambitious study abroads.. which need a shitload of things to go my way...
and some very generous people...
hope it works out.
hmm. so...
always wash your feet. not just letting it be splashed with water during a shower.
like use freaking soap and scrub. scrub hard.
very. very important.
sigh.
cant stop playing this song. over and over again.
the song used in singapore dreaming.
when i first watched the film... thought it sounded familiar
and it's just.. it just provides a perfect backdrop.
it's called bong chun hong... translated as pinning for the spring breeze.
one would think that these oldies would usually only have an effect on the older generation...
but no. for some reason. it kinda just reaches... into you. very touching.
friends we have to watch this together all right.
i think people can say what they want about our film industry...
been doing research for my paper... and read an online article with nothing but criticisms.
which kinda pissed me off.
really what's the point.
from where i stand... i see a lot of hope.
although admittedly... i hardly know anything.
-----------------------------------
was looking at something... which then reminded me of something.
my sis started had this small craze some time back...
checking out things to buy online.
clothes specifically...
so she ordered these 2 things... which looked good
and my mum brought her to collect..
sold by these girls
so my sis went forward to get them
and they gave them to her. collected money.
were laughing or something. and left immediately
my sis opened up and checked.
the clothes looked nothing like they did online
and were freaking old and obviously worn before.
bloody IDIOTS.
when my mum told me bout this just totally pissed me off.
shit. if only i was there.
would have dealt with this bunch of jokers. very suitably.
if you dare to touch my family... cheat them.. whatever.
you're screwed.
immediately.
bloody jokers....
just been given a bad rep in sg... due to some negative conotations.
trying to plan some ambitious study abroads.. which need a shitload of things to go my way...
and some very generous people...
hope it works out.
hmm. so...
always wash your feet. not just letting it be splashed with water during a shower.
like use freaking soap and scrub. scrub hard.
very. very important.
sigh.
cant stop playing this song. over and over again.
the song used in singapore dreaming.
when i first watched the film... thought it sounded familiar
and it's just.. it just provides a perfect backdrop.
it's called bong chun hong... translated as pinning for the spring breeze.
one would think that these oldies would usually only have an effect on the older generation...
but no. for some reason. it kinda just reaches... into you. very touching.
friends we have to watch this together all right.
i think people can say what they want about our film industry...
been doing research for my paper... and read an online article with nothing but criticisms.
which kinda pissed me off.
really what's the point.
from where i stand... i see a lot of hope.
although admittedly... i hardly know anything.
-----------------------------------
was looking at something... which then reminded me of something.
my sis started had this small craze some time back...
checking out things to buy online.
clothes specifically...
so she ordered these 2 things... which looked good
and my mum brought her to collect..
sold by these girls
so my sis went forward to get them
and they gave them to her. collected money.
were laughing or something. and left immediately
my sis opened up and checked.
the clothes looked nothing like they did online
and were freaking old and obviously worn before.
bloody IDIOTS.
when my mum told me bout this just totally pissed me off.
shit. if only i was there.
would have dealt with this bunch of jokers. very suitably.
if you dare to touch my family... cheat them.. whatever.
you're screwed.
immediately.
bloody jokers....
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
yes!!!
YES!!! ANOTHER QUIZ!!!!!!!
hahaaa... i am so damn tired. almost died today.
but damn. these boliao things.
are like energizer batts.
You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.
Not as easy as you might think.
1. Where is your cell phone?
:: dunno
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?
:: non-existant
3. Your hair?
:: annoying...
4. your mother?
:: msn
5. Your father?
:: working
6. Your favorite thing?
:: companionship
7. Your dream last night?
:: scary
8. Your favorite drink?
:: water
9. Your dream car?
:: jeep
10. The room you're in?
:: dorm
11. Your sister?
:: dunno
12. Your fear/s?
:: failure (at this moment)
13. What do you want to be in 10 years?
:: soldier
14. Who did you hang out with last
night?
:: haekyung
15. What you're not good at?
:: lying
16. What/who do you hate?
:: nobody (5 years ago i would have said becks.)
17. One of your wish list items?
:: contentment
19. The last thing you did?
:: chat
20. What are you wearing?
:: clothes
21. what aren't you wearing?
:: footwear
22. Your pet?
:: none
23. Your computer?
:: ibook
24. Your life?
:: heh
25. Your mood?
:: spaced-out
26. Missing?
:: home
27. What are you thinking about right
now?
:: papers
28. Your work?
:: hmm...
29. Your summer?
:: scary...
30. Your relationship status?
:: NA
31. Your favorite?
:: friends
32. When is the last time you laughed?
:: yesterday
33. Last time you cried hard?
:: secret
DONE :D
hahaaa... i am so damn tired. almost died today.
but damn. these boliao things.
are like energizer batts.
You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.
Not as easy as you might think.
1. Where is your cell phone?
:: dunno
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?
:: non-existant
3. Your hair?
:: annoying...
4. your mother?
:: msn
5. Your father?
:: working
6. Your favorite thing?
:: companionship
7. Your dream last night?
:: scary
8. Your favorite drink?
:: water
9. Your dream car?
:: jeep
10. The room you're in?
:: dorm
11. Your sister?
:: dunno
12. Your fear/s?
:: failure (at this moment)
13. What do you want to be in 10 years?
:: soldier
14. Who did you hang out with last
night?
:: haekyung
15. What you're not good at?
:: lying
16. What/who do you hate?
:: nobody (5 years ago i would have said becks.)
17. One of your wish list items?
:: contentment
19. The last thing you did?
:: chat
20. What are you wearing?
:: clothes
21. what aren't you wearing?
:: footwear
22. Your pet?
:: none
23. Your computer?
:: ibook
24. Your life?
:: heh
25. Your mood?
:: spaced-out
26. Missing?
:: home
27. What are you thinking about right
now?
:: papers
28. Your work?
:: hmm...
29. Your summer?
:: scary...
30. Your relationship status?
:: NA
31. Your favorite?
:: friends
32. When is the last time you laughed?
:: yesterday
33. Last time you cried hard?
:: secret
DONE :D
Monday, May 07, 2007
and run away together...
I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. he said,
"boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but i loved your grandma so."
We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
Of her, i found this letter, and this is what it said:
If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.
- collin raye
such an... overplayed. cliche song.
haa... but o man. what.. horribly embarrassing.. but ultimately
sweet memories it brings back.
cant sit through a full loop of "jj"
it's too painful.
---------------------------
ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
cant start studying!!!
have so much to do... and im sure once i start depressing thoughts will start rushing back in...
BUT. weird enough. in a super happy and like.. aroused mood now. hahaaahahaa even though my eyes are half closed.
thanks to a conversation. (:
reading all this psych stuff... has been killing my brain
and i seriously cant recall a single thing from 2 days ago...
but. it's really interesting... and... it's kinda been making me reflect
a lot on myself. and people. and the whole year..
and really. how you... choose to see things kinda has so much impact on... your emotional well-being.
there're a lot of adjustments that can be made.
o man so tired. tired. tired.
but yet. happy happy happy.
crazy year.
crazy year.
it's been an experience for sure (:
hazel! i chose "zoo" coz we always talkd about going there and it just reminded me of you!
hahaaa yes you are not like most socially-conventional friend... but very fun indeed (:
if they're gonna laugh... laugh.
talk... talk.
i just thank God for all the shit man... it's been a blast
the number of challenges shoved into my face
so... just bring it on. really. now. when i go back.
im dying to go home... it's been a year...
yeah. that doesn count. it has been a year...
and yet a zillion things scare the shit out of me.
but... it will be good.
you can take whatever shortcuts you want.
to achieve something
and delight in that invincibility for a moment or two.
but at the end of the day...
it really isnt yours for keeping
and it wont be.. until it's done in the right way.
right?
indeed.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
psychodynamic theory
reading about freud's very sexualized perceptions of psychodynamic theories in regards to personalities at freaking 3 am in the morning. so. quiz time. love these things. great stress relievers
so apparently there are serious problems with my intelligence.
marvellous
apparently the quiz cant count top 3...
and... it's not health. for sure. far from healthy here...
family and career.. tough choice.. but there really isnt anything more important than bloodties. is there.
wow. this quiz is damn nice to me.
zhen i cant let you into my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and daryl.. ok. mysterious, intelligent.. probably. hugely alluring to me.. haaaaa. nononoooooooo.
other than that.. heh. quite accurate. sarah is nuts for sure.
yay ended with my favourite! and...
shit. no more. ok. back to oedipus complex.
| Your Dating Style: Committed Relationship | ||||
| You are all about being in a committed long term relationship. You are all about the love and security that it brings. | ||||
| ||||
| 'What is your dating style?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
| YOUR REPORT CARD: | |
| Category | Grade |
| Love | C |
| Friends and Family | A |
| Body | A+ |
| Mind | C |
| Finance / Career | A+ |
| Your Life's Average Grade: A | |
| 'What is your Life Grade?' at QuizGalaxy.com | |
so apparently there are serious problems with my intelligence.
Your Social Dysfunction: Normal Being average in terms of how social you are, as well as the amount of self-esteem you have, you're pretty much normal. Good on you. | ||||
| ||||
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results. |
marvellous
| Health is most important in your life. Having a high focus on health indicates that you are very health-conscious and you realize that if you don't have your health, you have nothing. You are devoted to living healthy.  Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
apparently the quiz cant count top 3...
and... it's not health. for sure. far from healthy here...
family and career.. tough choice.. but there really isnt anything more important than bloodties. is there.
All-Around Smart You are all-around smart. Essentially, that means that you are a good combination of your own knowledge and experience, along with having learned through instruction - and you are equally as good with theoretical things as you are with real-world, applied things. You have a well-rounded brain. 20% applied intelligence 20% natural intelligence | ||||
| ||||
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
The Picto-Personality Test When alone, you are introspective. You constantly reflect on your life and the world. You are intelligent. You use your time to its fullest potential and will go very far in life. In the future you will be wise and healthy. |
| Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com |
wow. this quiz is damn nice to me.
| What do you subconsciously think of your friends? | ||
| Friend's Name | Word Association | Meaning |
| Daryl | Bat | Mysterious, Intelligent, Enigma. This person is hugely alluring to you. |
| Zhen | Bell | Someone whom you feel may be dangerous to let into your heart. |
| Danielle | Pearl | Beautiful and real - you have a lot of respect for this person. |
| Mel | Lantern | The person who sees you for you. |
| Sarah | Wig | You believe this person to be totally insane. (And they SO are!) |
| Hazel | Zoo | The least socially-conventional person that you know. (And, consequently, the most fun.) |
'What do you subconsciously think of your friends?' at QuizGalaxy.com | ||
zhen i cant let you into my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and daryl.. ok. mysterious, intelligent.. probably. hugely alluring to me.. haaaaa. nononoooooooo.
other than that.. heh. quite accurate. sarah is nuts for sure.
yay ended with my favourite! and...
shit. no more. ok. back to oedipus complex.
Friday, May 04, 2007
crap.
ok i didnt wanna start studying. so i did another one. now i have to start. sometimes you really do wanna give yourself one tight slap. like now.
shit. when i finish typing this title i have to start work.
ok. i swear. i am going to start work after this.
day wasted away coz of some crap. i have no idea how the heck im going to cram everything in. i mean studying.. is one thing. its damn crammable. writing is a completely different thing.
no time? study less.
write. no time. you cant write less. you cant research less and hand up a shit paper.
no way.
ok anyways. yes i am just trying to not start studying. coz im to scared to.
so i am going to do this quiz that hazel did.
damn pissed. freaking dvd i ordered for my research from amazon.
was thinking why the heck it was so expensive. but no choice. just ordered.
my mum told me yesterday that they received a package for me.
shit. sent to the wrong address.
am i an idiot or WHAT. screwed. anyways.
boliao quiz alert.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 2 things found in your wallet as
always:
ehh... prob ic and debit card
Top 2 things to do when i'm sad:
stupidly think more about it
or do some thing distracting. like watching youtube. or sleep.
Top 2 songs you can listen to again and again:
impossible. i listen fr sure. but not particularly musically inclined.
wait. maybe.. love me by colin raye. brings back good and bad memories of a very special kind. hahaa. NO. nothing to do with the content...
Top 2 reasons to watch television:
distraction from... whatever. for that one hour. you and your life cease to exist.
brainless entertainment
Top 2 places I'd want to visit 10 yrs from now:
i dont know...
Top 2 current obsessions:
worrying. and more worrying.
Top 2 favorite nicknames:
rubbish leg.
jaundice.
i think they were coined by the same person. brings back a ----load of memories
Top 2 favorite food:
o man. honestly. homecooked food. anything.
nothing. nothing. can beat that.
i want to go home.
Top 2 favorite snacks:
ice kachang? haa. i dont know.
ill devour anything you give me.
Top 2 favorite website:
hmmm... i dont know. i really dont surf much...
i guess i would say... rather pathetically.. maybe msn. it's my homepage and usually where i read about what's going on in the world...
and maybe friendster. hahaaaaha. dont surf there much either. unless im bored. but... for some reason it brings back memories. and. that's the only way i can see friends... kinda.
Top 2 favorite things to do:
i dont know you know. i think.. i love to... do things which... stimulate me intellectually. and let me find out more about the world. as ignorant as that sentence sounds. sometimes. but it can.... get quite sickening sometimes...
friends. i want to hang out with people at home again. but... yeah. there does exist a but.
the end.
Top 2 favorite places:
singapore. hahaa. anywhere which brings back memories... places like mg. or maybe not so much mg now. that place has changed so much. and taken my feelings along with it. haa. i would say... camp christine. that place holds a trillion memories for me.
and my favourite place here... i dont know. we'll see.
and. interlaken in switzerland. it's the most... beautiful place ever.
mmm.. s----- wing? HAHAAAA. MAN. i dont know. but... that's a place that'll always remain... special to me. for sure.
Top 2 things i can't wait to happen:
hahaaaaa for now. the end of finals. shit there's no way im gonna pass this hurdle for sure.
and after that... i dont know. satisfaction and happiness... you know. hahaa.
Top 2 places where I love to shop:
i hate to shop.
but if anywhere. yeah borders.
o yeah and ten thousand villages. one of the coolest stores EVER.
heh. and maybe ikea. when it's not crowded.
Top 2 movies I could watch over and over?
dead poets society
and... for now maybe singapore dreaming. ive watched it a million times. for "research purposes". it's... a really good film.
Top 2 things I'd like to get for Christmas:
the happiness and warmth... of companionship. no not THAT kind. i say... bullshit to that.
just. to be with friends.
-------------------------
dammit why is the quiz so short....
I HAVE TO START NOW!!!!!
and.
wow. what horribly bland answers.
day wasted away coz of some crap. i have no idea how the heck im going to cram everything in. i mean studying.. is one thing. its damn crammable. writing is a completely different thing.
no time? study less.
write. no time. you cant write less. you cant research less and hand up a shit paper.
no way.
ok anyways. yes i am just trying to not start studying. coz im to scared to.
so i am going to do this quiz that hazel did.
damn pissed. freaking dvd i ordered for my research from amazon.
was thinking why the heck it was so expensive. but no choice. just ordered.
my mum told me yesterday that they received a package for me.
shit. sent to the wrong address.
am i an idiot or WHAT. screwed. anyways.
boliao quiz alert.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 2 things found in your wallet as
always:
ehh... prob ic and debit card
Top 2 things to do when i'm sad:
stupidly think more about it
or do some thing distracting. like watching youtube. or sleep.
Top 2 songs you can listen to again and again:
impossible. i listen fr sure. but not particularly musically inclined.
wait. maybe.. love me by colin raye. brings back good and bad memories of a very special kind. hahaa. NO. nothing to do with the content...
Top 2 reasons to watch television:
distraction from... whatever. for that one hour. you and your life cease to exist.
brainless entertainment
Top 2 places I'd want to visit 10 yrs from now:
i dont know...
Top 2 current obsessions:
worrying. and more worrying.
Top 2 favorite nicknames:
rubbish leg.
jaundice.
i think they were coined by the same person. brings back a ----load of memories
Top 2 favorite food:
o man. honestly. homecooked food. anything.
nothing. nothing. can beat that.
i want to go home.
Top 2 favorite snacks:
ice kachang? haa. i dont know.
ill devour anything you give me.
Top 2 favorite website:
hmmm... i dont know. i really dont surf much...
i guess i would say... rather pathetically.. maybe msn. it's my homepage and usually where i read about what's going on in the world...
and maybe friendster. hahaaaaha. dont surf there much either. unless im bored. but... for some reason it brings back memories. and. that's the only way i can see friends... kinda.
Top 2 favorite things to do:
i dont know you know. i think.. i love to... do things which... stimulate me intellectually. and let me find out more about the world. as ignorant as that sentence sounds. sometimes. but it can.... get quite sickening sometimes...
friends. i want to hang out with people at home again. but... yeah. there does exist a but.
the end.
Top 2 favorite places:
singapore. hahaa. anywhere which brings back memories... places like mg. or maybe not so much mg now. that place has changed so much. and taken my feelings along with it. haa. i would say... camp christine. that place holds a trillion memories for me.
and my favourite place here... i dont know. we'll see.
and. interlaken in switzerland. it's the most... beautiful place ever.
mmm.. s----- wing? HAHAAAA. MAN. i dont know. but... that's a place that'll always remain... special to me. for sure.
Top 2 things i can't wait to happen:
hahaaaaa for now. the end of finals. shit there's no way im gonna pass this hurdle for sure.
and after that... i dont know. satisfaction and happiness... you know. hahaa.
Top 2 places where I love to shop:
i hate to shop.
but if anywhere. yeah borders.
o yeah and ten thousand villages. one of the coolest stores EVER.
heh. and maybe ikea. when it's not crowded.
Top 2 movies I could watch over and over?
dead poets society
and... for now maybe singapore dreaming. ive watched it a million times. for "research purposes". it's... a really good film.
Top 2 things I'd like to get for Christmas:
the happiness and warmth... of companionship. no not THAT kind. i say... bullshit to that.
just. to be with friends.
-------------------------
dammit why is the quiz so short....
I HAVE TO START NOW!!!!!
and.
wow. what horribly bland answers.
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