i was watching the VMAs that day.. and well.. it made me think of beloved. the reason for this is that the entire award ceremony was really dominated by hip-hop and essentially the black culture. p diddy.. puff daddy.. diddy.. whatever his name is.. was hosting the show and ok. i mean i know a lot has changed since back then but he really enveloped the whole hosting gig with the black culture. i hope i dont come off sounding racist coz i absolutely do not feel that way and it is just downright retarded and disgusting but im just.. well.. saying it as it is. there was really hardly a place for rock or pop or anything else and hip-hop really really dominated the night. and the thing which i found interesting was when they cast the camera on the crowd or the poeple in the what do u call that.. yea mosh pit you see all these white teenagers completely lapping it up. it really seemed to me like the blacks were in control of the whites. in a sense. i realised that it sounds like im completely distinguishing the two races.. but im not. im just saying. like you know. it's the same as saying chinese and malays and indians. everyone is the same, it's fantastic [i think one of the reasons my 2 years in vj will be so memorable was because of the chance i got to mix with all the different races and im extremely extremely glad for that :) esp with such diversity in my class! yay]

i only thought about this because i was thinking of it in relation to beloved. i wasnt sure whether i wanted to write about this.. coz it's such a damn sensitive issue but i dont even know why i wasn sure coz im not even saying anything wrong at all! yea and i know that sounded like i was trying to convince myself.. but seriously! my goodness. anyway when i was watching the VMAs i realised that things just really really have come a long way from how they used to be during the beloved era when the blacks were slaves and treated like animals and all... it's amazing how society evolves. i mean i know it's not like that in all parts of america and racism still exists largely in many areas but still. a lot has changed.

sigh. i hope this doesnt sound offending. hmmm.. but anyway i was watching oprah yesterday and she was interviewing this guy who came on the show in 1987 and used the derogatory term against blacks. and he was trying to explain to her why he'd used it and she just completely didnt buy into it and of course the audience stood on her side. and you know.. i dont know whether anyone else felt the same.. i mean everyone would go along with oprah obviously coz she's THE woman or whatever, but i kinda could see where the guy was coming from. ok. he was wrong to use that term against the blacks, but that was 18 years ago, and he was explaining where he came from. he only responded in the way he did because the blacks that he saw in his area were well.. i dont exactly know how to explain this.. maybe behaving in a very unbecoming manner which of course did make him feel threatened and angry. imagine urself only knowing ur 'species' existing and suddenly there is an 'invasion' and these people are not very well behaved either. it's probably just unfortunate that those were the blacks that he saw. there are good and bad people in every race. that's what i mean. and he just formed his opinions from there. i see where oprah is coming from too in that she is black herself and i mean obviously extremely against any form of racism. but i just felt that her mind was so closed to the fact that you know.. any dislike for blacks is wrong.. any dislike for blacks is wrong.. that she just maybe subconsciously disregarded anything the man was saying and eventually obviously he was reduced to uncomfortable half smiles. i just always think that there are... two sides to the story. obvoiusly the ku klux klan is shit and just. shit. and then just shit. but defense against black people and racism has to understand the reason that came about in the first place SOMETIMES is the fault of the blacks themselves.. but then again.. but then again.. there are so many then agains. sigh. this is killing my mind i shall stop. ok whatever it is. racism of course STINKS.

i really mean it when i say that one thing that i like about Singapore is it's so multi cultural.. AND MAJORITY of everyone just gets along so damn well! a while ago i went somewhere to eat and my dad was in front of me and he gave way to this indian woman to walk ahead first and she smiled at my dad and thanked him and he smiled back. you know it's small things like that which just make u feel so good. so. hurray!