i just came back from my last viet war class.. and my prof who has been involved very much in the VVAW movement.. that is vietnam veterans against war.. brought in his friend who served as a lieutenant in vietnam for i think three years... or something like that and has been very involved in this whole anti-war thing.

so anyways.. he came in.. and talked about many things.. too much to say.. but stuff like his active involvement in this whole movement.. the shit.. as in real shit we're talking about here.. that he witnessed.. going to colombia.. not the prestigious uni.. the country.. his mum being threatened and spyed on by intelligence officers coz they do that to vietnam vets who are very outspoken about their position on the government and the war, being beaten up and arrested by police 10 times during demonstrations.. some experiences in vietnam.. i dont know. things that might shock people who dont know anything much about war.. but after a whole semester.. u just kinda get used to it.

he spoke with obviously a lot of passion.. and americans can be pretty much in ur face. they say what they like. and he portrayed his obvious hatred for george bush without a flinch.. calling him an fing mf and things like that.. but that was just how he spoke and delivered something he felt so strongly about. and i was thinking compared to singapore.. where all these stupid 'cynical' high level government people who've been there and done that come in to give talks to young poeple.. they try to speak passionately and be controversial about things because.. ooo.. singapore's o so closed up.. and u can tell when someone is being genuine and when someone is trying to create an effect. i very much think it's the latter.. and then they make these stupid 'subtle' dry humour jokes which are so NOT FUNNY but the audience goes hahaahaaa.. rolling with laughter.. whatever BS.. well that's my stand. and i just hate it. but it's different here.

the point is.. i dont know after a while.. i just kinda settled into this state of like.. listening to what he was saying.. absorbing it.. but just feeling quite tired about all this stupid war debate. it's so easy to be influenced immediately if u're put in an environment where everyone thinks that way.. and definitely definitely there is some truth.. but i dont want to take a stand. it's tiring. coz i think.. there is no stant to take and there'll never be someone completely right or wrong.

but anyways. i arrived late.. and it's like a small class of maybe.. 20 + people so basically you know everyone in a sense. and there was this guy sitting beside me and i realised i'd never seen him before.. but didnt think too much about it. and at the end of the class. they were like.. o right. havent introduced u to aaron - grad student here who's a iraq veteran. and for a moment i was like. stunned.

here was this well.. young, good-looking, just pretty much an all-american guy sitting next to me and u would never have guessed that he had served in iraq and back. i think people dont realise who is going to war. they think it's all these professional soldiers and sign ons.. but they dont realise that teenagers are being sent ot war. so anyways he came back in 2004 i think if im not wrong, and he spoke a little about his views on something.. i think it just really.. shocked me.. coz you wont relate his face to iraq.

i dont know. im just right now. tired of this war bullshit.

and also.. just very very tired.