delete

i just deleted all my previous posts of outburst of emotion.
basically in the last few days my idiotic neighbours have been giving me hell and my roommate stole from me by using my debit card to buy something online and i found out about it. im still really very angry and sad over it. but.. all's good.

i just spoke to one of the girls from this batch of cadets online... my ex pc gave her my email coz she needed some advice regarding choosing services.. and i just preached to her online for 1+ hours...

i dont know. there are something i can never express here in this public space. but other than that.. right now.. i think i just feel really disappointed in myself. even after just one conversation. i feel so fired up and passionate about my career. it never. never leaves my mind. im even taking classes because i want to.. have more knowledge about my job. i dream about it. i have nightmares about it. it's become such a huge part of who i am. and i feel like ive just disappointed. disappointed some people who believed in me and myself. with how i am now.

i cant take this lying down. i really have to put up a fight.. wl concentrate on your own job man.. stop thinking of other people... passion means nothing.. if i dont act on it. if i allow myself to waste away like a worthless piece of trash.

you know what. i will get a freaking 4.0 gpa.
i will give a damn good presentation on cambodia and knock my own socks off.
i will write the best policy paper to mr lky.
i will stun my professor with my knowledge of chinese cinema.
i will psych you out of your consciousness. whatever that means.
i will tread my way to an A. no i won't capsize.
you will remember that mi chiamo wei lynn! sì! sono attiva, allegra, forte e bella (hahaaahaa just kidding la)!!!!!!! benissimo!!!!!

i will be able to translate my opinions into words confidently.
i will be more optimistic, talk more, share myself with the world.

i will be ready for my attachment.
i will run 2.4 in... 9 mins. yes you heard me. nine-ass-minutes.... eventually. hoho.
i will be excited for all the challenges that lie ahead.
i will carry myself with dignity and take away all worthless self doubt.

i will catch up with friends i have not seen in a year.
and i will walk this journey with god

i have wasted too much of my youth. but it's ok! coz i see green pastures ahead. cows.. dancing in the meadows.. pigs laughing hysterically with flowers tucked behind their pretty little ears. ah! how i look forward to that.. i see hope! light! colours! ahhh.. there i am... o wow. it cant be. but no. it is real. i really am 165 cm... cool sh*t!

NO i am not gonna put myself down in this sentence...
just wait and see... me. i'll prove you wrong.

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whoa. cool. postnote. this is seriously damn good therapy. i may be retarded and fool around. but i seriously feel better now.