home

cny has never really meant anything to me.. we have a reunion dinner.. usually just my family and my grandmother and some simple steamboat thing. and then the next 2 days when i was younger we went visiting.. a couple of houses.. maybe 3.. nothing more. new clothes? maybe sometimes a top or something. and i seriously have no idea what's the big fuss over freaking angbaos. i think in the "better" years i just got slightly over a 100 and that money kinda goes back to my parents coz they dont have the cash in the first place to fork out the money for the angbaos they had to give up. receiving money is just dumb. you use it to get something and then like.. what's next. big deal. so it's a stupid cycle more than anything. ive never even tried freaking yusheng or lao-ing or all that bubugaosheng chengyu stuff until last year during training. my cnys are as un-cny as they can get. but i kinda like it that way. i like how my family doesnt really give a sh-t

when i got older, i just had dinners. i think i havent gone visiting for about 4 years. so really cny just means public holiday.

but this year. i dont wanna go into too deep detail.. because i dont know who possibly reads this. but cny this year... miserable. i really. really. want to be home right at this moment. i dont know if i need a lesson on social skills or a complete overhaul of personality. but some things just dont work like they did before.

sigh. i really really really want to be home right at this moment... hahaa... but i think my stupid homesickness is nothing less than a disgrace.

ok my mum just called. and even my aunt and uncle and grandmother said hi.
sigh.
someone just kill me now. please. with your weapon of choice. i dont care.