hmmm.. i was thinking of some songs which would be an appropriate reflection of how i feel now.. leaving on a jet plane came to mind.. but i realised it was being written for an extremely mushy couple.. yea. shivers down my spine.
and suddenly country road came to mind.. and even though the lyrics totally dont make sense in such a situation.. i dont know. it's just a sad.. but soothing song.. to me. and when i think of country road, i think of sean liew. a bit scary. but not bad. good way to remember a friend. hmm.
im 90% packed.. and i think.. quite sad. i dont know. so many things i want to say but cant. to be honest.. im really dreading going back.. because i know there's a mountain of a challenge that awaits me.. or rather.. mountains. some being more massive than others. but ok. rubbish leg. it's time to come out of hiding. step out with courage. brave all the negativity the world has to offer. and be more optimistic to accept the positive.
yes.
how convincing. but YES i have to. no choice. i realised im an idiot who never sticks to what i say. but now. i will change in these 5 months. FOR THE BETTER. i will force myself to do things that im uncomfortable with (which is basically everything. i am extremely awkward). i will do what i need to do. yea. that's my new moto. do what needs to be done. or something like that.
i just read shafy, zhen and nette's return emails. sigh. thanks.. am quite touched for some reason.. it makes me feel so sad.. but yet so happy. all right.. to brave a whole day travelling in the sky again.. freaking 13 hour plane flights.. sick of it. im developing a huge phobia of planes.. for the entire trip back i kept thinking we were going to crash.. and i kept expecting some siao person to suddenly open the emergency door i was beside and we'd all get sucked out of the plane.. of course with me leading the way. sigh.
i wanted to reflect on the past year.. but ill do that when im settled back in my lovely dorm room again. everyone in singapore... i miss you guys like crazy.. and am going to even more.
all right. to a more positive outlook. (:
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