last week was pretty eventful. every week is. there're like new problems. challenges. anger. sadness. but that makes any elation or... act of kindness even more... wow. damn. is life good or what. (yes.)
ok before i start.. things to talk about in case i forget
(1) bhatt
(2) democracy?
(3) "poor" people
(4) my plans...
(5) raw letter
(6) random bullshit if any
(7) bible
(1) i went to the see my major advisor that day... and the dean was available and so i met with her. i almost feel apologetic about that.. me. a small fry. meeting with a freaking dean to discuss a relatively insignifcant and to make things worse complicated academic plan. but she was really really nice. and when i told her i was from singapore she got all excited.. apparently she and her husband brought a group of students there during the winter/summer study abroad from my uni and she's just... really impressed how such a small country... has made such a name for itself and is just doing so damn well. i think that's one thing we dont realise being stuck in singapore... we mentally acknowledge how damn small the country is.. but we dont really digest it. or how it's so amazing that we've come so damn far. ive been doing a million lessons on the developing countries of the global south and it's really a freaking miracle thats what it is. we could so easily have still.. remained a developing country... and no disrespect to anyone. but to be able to lead such a comfortable life.. count our blessings man.
anyway the dean was going on and on... and... for a moment it hit me. that an american professor has so much more pride in our tiny country than so many of us. one thing about students in singapore... and what i hear often from friends... hurhur... everyone complains about how difficult education is... all that bullshit. of course i belonged to this category too. but hearing the dean say how highly she thought of the students and profs... i was like... yea everyone is very academically driven (and i didnt say that in a positive light) and she was like yea that's what makes you so great, that's what makes your country so great! you guys should be very proud. it kinda emphasized something which ive been thinking about the past year.. we can bullshit and complain all we want.. but the fact is that if not for this... rigorous education.. sg wont be as developed as it were.. we wont be as 'knowledgeable' as we were.. know what i mean? so really... i think it's more of.. a blessing than anything else.. although there's so much pressure and shit.. but sometimes it's kinda like what you wanna make out of it.. i dont know.
(2) i was just reading some pol sci stuff... and seriously. all pol sci material mentions our little island home as being more authoritarian.. in particular one paragraph made me go hmmmm... hurhurhur:
"Hong Kong and Singapore have a different political profile. They are both former British colonies... Although not as repressive or militarized as South korea and Taiwan during the Cold War era, Hongkong and Singapore were not democracies either. Hongkong was ruled by a Brtish Governor and Singapore by a dominant individual (who once banned sales of the Asian Wall Street Journal after it criticized him)."
- International Relations Brief 06-07 Edition, Goldstein and Pevehouse
hmmm. i wonder how that dominant individual is.. dont you.. ha. touchy subject. a while back person and i were talking about singapore politics.. and person was criticizing the gov.. the usual so rigid.. blah blah all the usual bullshit.. and i was like yea.. after coming here ive realised that.. to speak of us as a democracy... might not in the most accurate light (im trying not to say things expicitly.. for certain reasons need to think.. a lot before i write some things).. but if not for everything that happened... we would not be where we are today. and then person would be bemoaning about class disparities (which actually in retrospect is unlikely coz person is very rich and would prob be in the corrupted classes...). i was searching online that day and i watched this video called Singapore Rebel... which is like... exposing the gov apparently.. or rather i watched about 3 minutes of it and it got too cheesy to take. i dont know. i think ill keep my opinions to myself.. more or less.. but one thing i have to say is.. im sure that.. things are never perfect, and im sure we as citizens will not always know what is going on.. that is all part of politics. but it's a fact we are doing well. we have progressed. it does not mean we should not question or have minds of our own.. so in that way really it's everyone's duty to be aware of what is going on.. but it also does not mean that we should fall to the other extreme of becoming a 'Singapore rebel'. for my own safety, i shall conclude for now on this topic.
(3) another interesting paragraph which struck a chord with me.. it's about... aid to developing nations and their people:
"One version of 'missionary' assistance - advertised widely in the US - lets citizens in rich countries 'adopt' poor children in the global South. Photos of a hungry child stare at the reader from a magazine page while the accompanying text notes that a few cents a day can 'save' the child. Although such programs raise awareness in the North of the extent of poverty in the South, at worst they tend to be exploitive and to reinforce racist and paternalistic stereotypes of the helplessness of people in the global South."
- International Relations Brief 06-07 edition, Goldstein and Pevehouse
how true. indeed. maybe one would call me a hypocrite. i dont seem to be doing anything to help the situation either. well. all i can say is... we can talk about this. and there are things that the future might hold. right now... i am trying to learn. learn about situations. about things. ok forget it. i am not gonna talk about this or justify myself. coz that disgusts me. i was talking to my prof that day about the iraq war... and basically we were talking about. how... all these internal wars.. problems.. you should leave it to the people themselves to sort it out.. fight it out themselves. there are many things which the outside world CANNOT intervene in. which some do for sinister intentions. others might have good intentions... but end up screwing things up making them even worse than before.
in regards to the paragraph above.. that's something ive been thinking about too.. in relation to what i just said. in doing so.. in looking at them that way.. it really is already like being a freaking damn racist. and as you just give that 2 bucks to adopt a child or whatever it is... you might feel good that you're doing something for the child.. but somewhere deep inside at least 1% of you is going. damn. am i a saint or what. this child is so poor thing.. followed by an unconscious slew of slightly racist thoughts. racism is more common than its usage. i dont know. it's so difficult to.. acknowledge the fact genuinely that we are all of the same level... all equal... and where do we draw the line between.. empathy maybe.. and too much sympathy.
sigh. ok. end of topic again.
(4) my plans to study abroad... need to go through a SHITLOAD of bureaucracy red tape. i hope it works out.
i dont know why that came to my mind that day. am i becoming more tofu-like. that is terrible.
(5) during my search on singapore videos that day i came across this... interesting sg short film called raw letter. and i watched it as part of my plans for procrastination. and... i am not recomending it in any way. but if anyone needs some entertainment or feels like going hahaaaha... or huhhhhhh or ... even.. o please... you can check it out. it is.. in the least.. somewhat entertaining.
(6) i have essays to write on north korea and postmodernism and peace studies. honestly i have come to the conclusion that... there is nothing truely substantial or detailed that you can learn in an undergrad degree.. rushing through stuff.. sometimes doing the bare minimum just to get things done with.. although i think it might be different back home. i dont know. but i am.. somehow going to try. to learn something. and more than just vaguely. these freaking long papers are due on 11 april.. so a long absence might be due again. provided nothing catastrophic happens between now and then... unless i include blogging in my procrastination plans.
(7) i came across a verse that day which struck me... so i'll just end with that.
Every child of God defeats this evil world by trusting Christ to give the victory.
1 John 5:4
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