.

i have a shitload of things to do but i cant concentrate.
i havent been able to get the shootings off my mind.
especially after i found out that the gunman was asian.

i know that backlash has started in some places and will continue...
amongst senseless people who are unable to see that this is an isolated incident
i know im being over sensitive. but when i went to school today...
just tried to shrug off feelings of people... staring at you more than normal
but i think it's kinda just my own imagination.
it's just me. but i didnt go to a class today coz of this.
i am being stupid. but i just dont wanna be out there.
even more than usual

at dinner just now.
there was a girl who said she didn't care at all. an american. i cant understand that.
another of my south korean friends said... there had actually been a movie night scheduled for a korean film this thursday but it might be cancelled in light of this incident. she couldnt understand why. but i kinda can.
another girl said she found it stupid. it shouldn be cancelled. they had nothing to do with the incident.

there's actually a meeting later at the asian american cultural center...
the asians no campus.. and in particular the south koreans have been receiving email after email about this...
they're gonna be talking about kinda like. the implications. on the asian american community.
and i really want to go.
i wont mind going alone usually.
but just not this time. and i cant find anyone else to go.
so im not.

i guess i just have to return to doing my work.
and taking my mind off this.