im supposed to be doing some japanese culture readings and at least 2 essays. but i just cant get down to it...

was talking to one of my ex company mates online.. and.. sigh. i think. i really was very idealistic. like.. u know those fairytales where good always triumphs over evil even though.. there're so many obstacles and it doesnt seem likely.. but i dont think it's the same in real life.. i dont know.. i hold this extremely cynical view towards the world.. but i always believe at the end of the day... er... yea good will triumph over evil.

sigh. i think.. i dont know. it makes me sad to think that people might view me as a fool.. with merely idealistic words to offer.. and offer me mere sympathy and not anything else. or maybe. everyone just has different opinions i dunno.

honestly. honestly. it scares the shit out of me. sometimes im not sure what ive gotten myself into.