Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest: You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth. At Your Lowest: You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked. In Love: You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve. How You're Attractive: You are very affectionate and inspire trust. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Respected?"

What's" Your Power Color?

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt.And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting.Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt.And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

what nonsense man. i am an anti-flirt. un-flirt. i cant do it for shit. i wont even think of doing it for shit. and sometimes.. i think im super damn naive in the sense that i find it hard to recognise.. im like the last person to realise anything.. and even if there is like whatever.. i super dont ever believe it.. ok nvm moving on.

so.. it's been a long time since i blogged.. and there are a lot of things i wanna say.. but a lot of things i feel i cannot say..

i dunno.. to me i treat things.. that i think are serious.. very seriously. and i think it's serious that i am part of the saf.. and u know.. i have a responsibility in the things i say and the way i behave. so if this was the old me.. i would go crazy coz i have really a lot of shit to say. but i cant. i have to censor even more things. sigh.

all i can say.. is after the psc pre depart course last week.. im damn glad if there's any org i belong to.. it's the saf. i realise that scholars are not what they are made out to be.. they're so damn normal people.. well.. ok some seem like really knowledgeable and whatever it is.. but i mean.. they're so human. they're not 'perfect' at all.. there're so many flaws here and there too. i wanna say so much more.. but i cant go further. for a particular session.. there was a good 2 hours tha ti was pissed off at something.. and that made me realise.. that i really have a passion for what im doing. so whoever pissed me off. i thank you very much.

people had a lot to say and comment and challenge the guest speakers.. initially i thought. shit im way way way out of my league. coz honestly i dont really give much of a fill-in-the-blanks about local politics or whatever it is. so suddenly this whole long sentence of super bombastic words lasting for a grand total of like 2 minutes or something will come blaring out of someone's mouth in an extremely passionate manner.. and there i am falling asleep going what the... i mean sometimes it is interesting and i listen.. and i have opinions. but some questions.. u know. some things which never need to be asked are just asked for the sake of asking. and i hate that. i really really hate that. i think if u wanna ask something.. really have an interest in it. if not something simple which u know u can answer yourself. come on man. be real.

i dunno whether that makes me sound like an arrogant idiot but trust me i am not at all.. sigh. in fact very much still the opposite. sadly. although i probably look damn a lot like one still as from the feedback gathered. there're reasons for everything.. i dunno man.

right now i have 4 weeks to get my act together and im off.. the lots more that i wanted to say.. i dont really want to anymore.. sigh. so goodbye and goodnight.

wait. i want to ask again. WHY cant people just say what the hell they're really thinking. like if for example u ____ some shit. dont do it in such an indirect manner i mean if u want people to acknowledge ur achievements.. or whatever it is. a disguise of humility is not gonna cut it. or dont lie to urself or lie to others if u really know what the truth is. u know what im sayin.

all i can say is i've failed. the past 30 days. i have failed. and i have 30 more to succeed.

sigh. help. but dont help. u know. i am worried. worried.

suddenly a thought came to me today. i should write a book. i was thinking of all the bombastic things that people say. all along i guess i kinda feel inferior in a sense. let's talk about lit. i like lit. to a certain extent. coz i hate all the over analysis. and i dont exactly like certain books that people would term like wow. brilliant or whatever it is. i guess im a way im just a damn simple person. i dont demand much.. from life.. from books.. but yet i demand a lot more. sigh. so anyways i suddenly thought hey man. even though poeple love to read all these cheem things which win nobel prizes and things like that. i think people will appreciate a book which is damn open and honest and simple language which the common man can understand. and i have been thinking of ideas. so maybe one day i will write a book. i have beent hinking of things to write about.. and i realise there really is a lot to if i wanna be completely open. but i cant. sigh. so. i am back to square one. hurray.. ! -_-

on another note. the love of my life is newcastle. it really really is. i dont care if it makes me sound like some retarded kid. coz no one will ever understand this special relationship. sigh.

who is this shearer. he is a bit too perfect. but yet so human. who is this shearer man.