some NARROW MINDED CHILDISH FOOL has his nic on msn as singapore, F*** singapore...

what a FOOL is all i can say.

i dont update here much.. coz.. i dunno.. if i speak to friends i wanna speak like more one on one than in such a public announcement place..

and well.. the reason why im so pissed with that is because.. after coming here.. i realise what a great country singapore is. honest. last night saf sent an email.. about restrictions on blogging and things like that.. which i've always erm... put on myself.. internally.. which is why i dont really say so much about the saf and training.. in fact i dont at all :S until ike.. occasionally.. coz it really doesnt matter what much to let hte world know...

but.. i had a bit of a panic attack last night.. honestly.. i have been feeling.. kinda.. lonely really.. and homesick. u never realise.. how good u've got it.. until u lose what u once had. it's not to say that life here is bad. but i think people.. hold studying overseas in such high esteem.. like o it's so cool and it's so fun.. and definitely it's a great experience if u treasure it.. but u realise it is really just life that goes on.. and i miss what i had at home.

im not sure whether i'll be able to come home in the summer for some reasons. and i cannt imagine 2 years away from singapore. i'm tell u now - i love my country. and if u're there and u dont treasure what u have.. then u're a complete idiot really.

there have been quite a lot of things i've been dealing with here.. which im sure my friends have all been too back in sg.. but i know i would deal better in an environment of comfort and familiarity.. but hey isnt that what studying overseas is about? to put urself out there.. expose urself.. and i guess.. in these 4 years u'll discover a lot of your weaknesses.. but if u make that effort.. ur strengths too..

before i left sg we had this pre departure thing and the guy said th initial period overseas.. u'll be depressed.. than u'll be like high morale again.. maybe.. maybe not..

all i can say is.. i am busy/stressed/missing home.. but also.. i am grateful for the chance to do things here.. and trying to take opportunity of that. i guess everyone expects.. their friends who go overseas to report back what a wonderful time they're having and people at hoem will be like.. u're so lucky.. and i used to think that way.. but i realise it's not true at all... and i dont care if it makes me sound pathetic or a loser or whatever, coz im just being honest. basically it's just life that goes on, in a new place, a foreign envronment.

but i'll just try to turn things around when they're back.. and somhow.. u know.. just build my character or something. sounds so lame but it's true..

so not going into specific boring struggles of my life... i am doing good. i am doing good because i am alive.. and how many people can say that? yea i know.. like a few billion.. how many people are there in the world...

so anyways thanks for leaving msgs on my tagboard.. i miss all of u.