i really really dont understand...

you've already screwed up my damn life.. to such a damn big extent which u can never comprehend. and it's something which will NEVER go away.. i know.. people who can testify for that.. and yet.. u dont know. and u dont give a shit either.

i look forward to book outs.. so damn much. i love army life at certain times.. other times.. i dread it.. i feel damn cooped up.. who wont.. and book outs are kinda like the light at the end of the tunnel.. they let u know that time is actually moving on.. they let u get a break.. they let u get out.. and yet when i book out i have to face this SHIT.

i used to think it was my own fault.. all my frustrations throughout the week and stress.. just releasing it during bookout.. but im seriously damn sick of it. why cant u give me a damn break. instead of spying. commenting. making me feel like shit. making me feel like shit.

im not complaining. whatever. am more calm now. five minutes away i would have been saying something like foxtrot uniform charlie kilo - ing SHIT. but now.. i am more calm.

i guess.. one thing must understand everywhere is that.. the way u treat ur kid from the moment he/she is born is damn important. the most important thing.. u must build up esteem in ur kid. dont build up negativities.. positives.. are the way to go.. and of course scoldings or whatever shit where lessons need to be learnt.. but how u treat ur children is damn important.. in speech.. behaviour.. speech especially.. words really do kill.. they really do kill.. if im gonna be a mother next time.. u can be damn sure im gonna be a damn good one.

on another note.. please stop it. sigh. stop it. get ur freaking hands off me.

there's one thing i HATE. and that is swearing. honestly. the most i'll go is shit..even if i do say it quite a lot.. the one thing ih ate more than swearing.. is when people.. and in this instant.. guys.. swear coz they think it's damn cool and to fit in. u can tell when someone is saying it coz it's really coz he's used to it and it's just part of his speech and when someone is saying it to be cool.. casual.. bull shit man. dont suddenly talk and add charlie bravo to ur speech to show ur manliness.. sigh. im sick of it. im glad the guys are here in service term definitely. definitely. but they bring other.. annoyances.. and troubles.. with them.. sigh. i dunno man. freak.

sigh.