i really really dont understand...

you've already screwed up my damn life.. to such a damn big extent which u can never comprehend. and it's something which will NEVER go away.. i know.. people who can testify for that.. and yet.. u dont know. and u dont give a shit either.

i look forward to book outs.. so damn much. i love army life at certain times.. other times.. i dread it.. i feel damn cooped up.. who wont.. and book outs are kinda like the light at the end of the tunnel.. they let u know that time is actually moving on.. they let u get a break.. they let u get out.. and yet when i book out i have to face this SHIT.

i used to think it was my own fault.. all my frustrations throughout the week and stress.. just releasing it during bookout.. but im seriously damn sick of it. why cant u give me a damn break. instead of spying. commenting. making me feel like shit. making me feel like shit.

im not complaining. whatever. am more calm now. five minutes away i would have been saying something like foxtrot uniform charlie kilo - ing SHIT. but now.. i am more calm.

i guess.. one thing must understand everywhere is that.. the way u treat ur kid from the moment he/she is born is damn important. the most important thing.. u must build up esteem in ur kid. dont build up negativities.. positives.. are the way to go.. and of course scoldings or whatever shit where lessons need to be learnt.. but how u treat ur children is damn important.. in speech.. behaviour.. speech especially.. words really do kill.. they really do kill.. if im gonna be a mother next time.. u can be damn sure im gonna be a damn good one.

on another note.. please stop it. sigh. stop it. get ur freaking hands off me.

there's one thing i HATE. and that is swearing. honestly. the most i'll go is shit..even if i do say it quite a lot.. the one thing ih ate more than swearing.. is when people.. and in this instant.. guys.. swear coz they think it's damn cool and to fit in. u can tell when someone is saying it coz it's really coz he's used to it and it's just part of his speech and when someone is saying it to be cool.. casual.. bull shit man. dont suddenly talk and add charlie bravo to ur speech to show ur manliness.. sigh. im sick of it. im glad the guys are here in service term definitely. definitely. but they bring other.. annoyances.. and troubles.. with them.. sigh. i dunno man. freak.

sigh.

the last ball has been kicked.. and the Shearer era has come to an end.
it really has been 10 very very amazing years.. not just for him but for everyone who's followed his career and supported the man. Sigh. i have so many things to say.. which no one will ever understand. it's not some stupid worship or adoration.. it's just a huge amount of respect and.. emotional attachment. How much newcastle.. and shearer means to me.. it's uncomparable.

i am very. very. very. very. very. sad.

so... im waiting to do something. and while im waiting.. i am gonna do this thing.
i love doing all these boliao tag things and all these boliao quizzes. maybe coz sometimes i need to revisit the girl in me. seriously. it's there man. just that my life is quite different..

you know sometimes u're really like satisfied with what u have.. i mean.. im so fortunate to be experiencing something quite rare and things like that.. or u know to be who i am and not someone else or whatever.. and yet other times.. when u just look around.. u wish why u didnt have ________________ ... or whatever it is.. i dont know how to explain myself man.. so i shall just distract all these thoughts.. with this boliao tag.. haha sometimes i really wonder whether.. my friends have forgotten my existence. coz.. things are just so different.. so foreign now..


Rules:
1. Bold the following words that are true about you.
2. GREEN! the things you wish were true.
3. add one thing true about you
4. and then tag onetwothreefourFIVE more people.
5. im adding my rule of maybes.. in italics..

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lens.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I've been in a threesome.
I've been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes. (if shit is counted as cursing..)
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someones' bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really,really fast/unclear.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have alot of mood swings (nowadays.. maybe..)
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have alot of friends.
I am currently single!
I have pecked someone of the same sex (my sister..)
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window-shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone. (hate.. is a very strong word..)
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (Am.. confused..)
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have made a move on a friend or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys.
Democrat.
I am punk rockish.
I am preppy.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job (I DO love my job.. maybe i love my job.. i wish i really really did love my job..)
I am comfortable with who I am now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at MacDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the wrong people. (not in terms of falling.. coz im not the kind.. but in terms of.. liking people.. then maybe)
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers more than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongues in waves, much like a snakes slithers.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet. (i WONT. lame shit)
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distraction.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.
I have ridden an elephant.
I love chocolates and crowns!
I go to school NOT for the sake of lessons.
I can't ride a bicycle.
I think i'm the only person crazy enough to do this at 6 in the morning without any sleep for the night.
I feel crazy.
I love tomatoes!!
I like peanut butter on bananas.
Been told "You're on fire!"
I'm a netballer.
I believe in Serendipity.
I think the word 'RASPBERRY' is sexaaay!
I love to look at people's teeth.
I don't wanna grow up.
I can cross my eyes n stick out my tongue n still look cute.
Gaining weight is a wonderful thing.
I am a PRO.
I love listening to gossip.
I really should be studying for exams now.
I totally love cheezels.
I can eat as much as a guy (sigh.. i can eat more.. just ask my section mates..)

can't think of anything i wanna add.. as for tagging people.. if anyone still comes to this cold.. isolated place.. u can go ahead and do it if u're really damn freaking bored..

why does this entry sound so depressing! life is good! right.. rightttt???
o man. i think someone is gonna die during section live firing this sunday. it might be me.