i just had.. a really good thanksgiving.. because.. i dont think it was only for myself.. that it was only for my own benefit and fun.. and.. i really got to see what america was really like.. and how americans are.. and their life.. instead of travelling and all that.. coz honestly i dont give much of a crap about that stuff.. and im so grateful for all the warm hospitality extended to me...

i want to go home... but i cannot.. face doing so.
at a complete.. complete and utter loss..

it bothers me so damn much that you can do one thing.. but yet say another for someone else.. set a different standard. it's so fake.. and so selfish.. and it bothers me even more that this is just one example of the 'goodness' that this world is supposed to have

and.. sigh.. i dont know why i think this way.. i dont know whether im disillusioned.. but it bugs me a lot.. am i right or wrong? i dont know why i have to view them this way...

sigh.