so.. wow. i have so many thoughts. but i cant write them down.. coz there're things that just cannot be said.. in so many ways.. and i dont like to comment in such a well.. public area.. so there.

fear. fear sucks.
but im damn grateful.
acceptance and understanding is the real challenge.

O me! O life! of the questions of these recurring.
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill'd with the foolish.
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew'd.
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring -- What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer That you are here--that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

walt whitman

in regards to my last post on jan 2.. i would say things have changed. it's not that i feel differently but i've just realised some things.. and.. there's no point thinking so negatively about things and complaining about shit. coz at the end of the day.. when u sign up for something.. u should be ready for all the negatives and shit and accept it as the whole part of the 'package'. and i guess what doesnt break u.. will make u stronger. very lame. but true.